The Cutting Board
by Rosey Rose
Summary: When Serena starts up a dangerous habbit of cutting, will Darien be there to catch her when she falls.
1. Default Chapter

**This story is dedicated to my two best friends, Candice and Tiffany, and to all of the many people who suffer in what we call life.

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**The Cutting Board **

**Introduction **

Her hands scoured the medicine cabinet in the bathroom for something sharp. Toothpaste, toothbrushes, medicine, and tiny knickknacks fell to the floor in her rush. She couldn't find anything and shut the mirrored door as the pieces of glass felt as if they would shatter onto the floor. She pulled her hair feeling as if she was going insane from the world around her, like someone was screaming at her and wouldn't stop, or like she was spinning on a carousel so fast and no one could hear her screams to stop it.

Her hands now a pinkish red from her hard grip on her hair. A tear fell from her face in frustration, as she slid down the wall onto the floor. The cold feeling in her heart started to begin to get worse and was now starting to feel like ice. She sniffed her nose still crying on the floor of her bathroom. She laid her head down on the soft rug that felt like a security blanket on her face. A shine behind the bathroom trashcan caught her eye.

Her crying grew fainter as her pupils in her eyes seemed to get larger as she looked at the object in front of her. Was it what she thought? Yes it was. A broken piece of glass, lying on the floor, yelling, screaming, for her to take it. She wiped her eyes as she got up from the floor to grab the piece of glass. It felt sharp in her hand, yet she held it firm. A tiny trickle of blood fell from her already red hand. She moved it just above her wrist as she felt it on her skin. Warm blood made its way out of her body, stinging at first but then numb after a second or two. The pain only made her think twice of pushing the edge down harder, so that she could tear her skin even more, so she could really feel it this time.

As the tiny line of blood still flowed off of her arm, she looked at herself in the mirror as the door of the medicine cabinet swung back and forth. She stopped it with her hand and moved it back slowly to look at her face. Her hair was messy, her eyes watered, and her face looking red and flushed. So many thoughts ran through her head, I couldn't even tell you how many as she starred at herself in the mirror, questioning whether it was really her that she was looking at. She knew at that moment what she had become, what she had done to herself with her own hands.

_How did it come to this, how did it come to wear I needed to bleed, to where I needed to make sure that I was alive, to know that I wasn't just watching myself in some bad movie, how did it come?_

Her blood continued to make its way down her arm into the sink leaving a trail of blood, resembling a river that ran with blood.

She thought back to when it started, when her bad habits started to occur. She thought long and hard until the memory drifted into her head like a feather in the wind fell at your feet. Yes, that memory in her head sank into her head and burned with rage in the back of her mind, only to sink into her heart and make it burn with such sorrow. The kind of sorrow that no soul should bare.

Her heart burned as she clutched it with her hand only to let out a gasp and more tears from her eyes. She closed her eyes and let her head lay on the door behind her. She could still smell the fresh blooming flowers, and she could still see the blue sky that greeted her that first day of school, trying to leave the war zone, she called home. She could see it in her mind, and drifted back into her memory…


	2. What's in the Mirror

_**Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon

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_**Chapter 1: What's in the mirror **_

**Some people look at the world as their playground, a place to be themselves, to laugh, to have fun, to enjoy the life given to them, for others, its hell on earth.**

Serena continued to walk down the sidewalk trying to be on time to class, but for some reason she moved slower today than she did before. She rubbed her left arm and held it close to her as she walked. It stung her like a million bees, or like someone burning her flesh with a lighter.

She looked around to make sure that no one was around and then proceeded to roll up her sleeve. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 cuts to be exact, laid upon her arm still. They were fresh and looked like they could burst at any minute with the blood that was nearly visible. Serena starred at her arm for a while and then rolled down her pink sweater so that no one could see. She swung her backpack over her other shoulder and proceeded to school.

School is definitely like a stage. Everyone plays a part even when they don't know their playing it. They where their masks, and pretend that they're someone else for the 5 periods during school. That's what Serena did. On the outside, Serena played the blonde popular "it" girl at school. She was adored by everyone.

She had the fashion sense, the money, the looks, and most of all social status. Every girl in the school wanted to be her as she walked down the hallway with the rest of her friends around her, or as Travis Jr. High liked to call them, the popular girls. Each one wore something pink, their shoes high, and their hair always down swinging from side to side as they all walked. This so called group had 5 girls in it.

First there was Rei, a spiritual girl at home, but at school far from religious. She had practically dated every guy in the 12th grade, but was a nice girl. She had dark black hair that she wore in ringlets with blonde highlights and deep brown eyes in which she put heavy mascara over. Her skin was ivory and was so flawless that she could have been the spoke person for an acne commercial. Then there was Lita. The blunt one in the group, who was never afraid to say what was on her mind, which was almost intimidating to some people, but for her friends she was the one to win the friendly award. Her hair was wavy and brown and her eyes a forest green.

Next in line was Amy, a fairly short girl, but her grades in school towered over her height. Even though she was one of the smartest people in school, she still belonged to the "it" group. She had short black hair that flipped out and blue eyes which matched her hair until she died it again Senior year. Last but not least was Mina, a girl with long blonde hair like Serena. Some considered Mina to be almost like Serena's shadow, but had her own social life non the less.

Mina was Serena's cousin on her mothers side, and no matter how much they fought, somehow they would always seem to laugh in the end. Mina was one of the only people who knew what Serena went through. She was there when she cried and when she bled, but at school it was different. As I said before everyone, yes everyone, played a role at school, even if it meant throwing away their real personality.

"Hey Sere" Rei said as she walked down the hall with yet another guy on her side.

"Hey Rei, at it again I see" Serena said as she put the rest of her books into the locker.

"Shh… don't tell" Rei said teasingly before she made it past the corner. As soon as Serena was about to shut her locker she felt someone's presence. She closed her door to see Mike standing there, basically a one night guy as she called him.

"So babe, can I um… take you out some time" He said rubbing his hand up and down her back trying to be smooth.

"Um… I don't think so" Serena said putting her lock on and leaving him behind.

"Oh come on you know you want me" Mike shouted as Serena only looked back to shoot him the finger. She proceeded to walk down the hall busy of chatter and gossip until she ran into Mina.

"Hey Mina" Serena said as Mina shut her locker.

"Hey, you on your way to class?" Mina said trying to hold her books up with one arm.

"I guess so" Serena said scratching her head in annoyance of thinking about another boring class. Her sleeve fell slightly with her movement as Mina had a glimpse of her arm. Mina was quiet for a moment as she tried to comprehend her cousin's actions.

"What's wrong Mina?" Serena said putting her arm back down, not even realizing that her cousin had just seen what she had been trying to hide. Mina snapped out of her thinking and looked back at her cousin.

"Nothing, lets just get to class"

"Now if you multiply the binomials together…" Mr. Johanson continued to blabber on to the class about the boring lesson, with only the nerds and geeks raising their hands at the front of the classroom. Serena, Mina, and Rei all sat at the back of the classroom with the other popular people as they sat there bored out of their fucking minds.

"Hey Rei, what are you doing this Friday" Tommy, a guy that was part of the popular group at school asked as he eyed Rei in her seat.

"I don't know, why, want to go see a movie and maybe do something else…" Rei said biting down on her pencil seductively while smiling. Tommy smiled back as Rei turned back around in her chair.

"Mrs. Turner" Mr. Johanson said as Rei looked at the front of the class,

"Pay attention, and that goes for all of you back there" he said as the rest of them began to laugh.

"All of you detention after school" Mr. Johanson said, now irritated from the troublemakers at the back of the class.

The bell rang and they all proceeded to walk out to the hall for lunch.

"Detention, again" Darien said to Serena as they both walked out of class.

Darien had been one of Serena's closest friends since elementary. He had dark raven hair, midnight blue eyes, and a deep dark voice that could enchant any girl. Serena had always liked Darien, but being such close friends she never wanted to attempt anything with him, even though she wanted to, and secretly he did too. Even though they were such close friends, Darien never knew anything Serena did at home, AKA: Being a cutter.

"I know, I really have to stop getting into trouble, it will suck when I apply for college"

"Oh, don't worry, you'll get in. Nobody can turn you down" He said as Serena smiled. But she really had to shape it up. She was going to have to apply soon to colleges, and she didn't want to end up like her own mother. She wanted to make something of herself, to prove to everyone that she wasn't just some troubled youth that needed to be looked after all the time.

"Hey Dare," Serena said a little apprehensive of what she was asking him.

"Yeah"

"Could you maybe take me home after school today"

"Sure" Darien said looking at his long time friend.

"Thank you" She said giving him a kiss on the cheek, which he enjoyed.

"See you after school" She said as she continued to walk down the hall.

"Hey Sere, you want to go and smoke some weed after school" Ann said as she caught up with Serena who was making her way to class. Her brunette was hair wavy and wet with mousse, as she made her way closer to Serena. The closer she got, she could see her yellow stained teeth.

"No thanks Ann, I'll think I'll pass today"

"Oh suit yourself, more for us" She said as she went back over to the rest of the people in their circle in the corner. Serena shook her head, and looked at them, but she couldn't throw stones, she had hit as much weed as Ann had, and in her heart she wish she hadn't. Anne had fucked up long before in junior high and had gotten addicted to it. Lucky for Serena she had some, but hadn't gotten addicted to it, not like the other things in her life.

After school was over, Serena met Darien for him to drive her home. They laughed and talked in the car like they usually did. Only did Serena's smile fade as she looked at her glass door that showed her horrible domestic life.

She took a deep breath as she knew that she had to take off her mask and put on another one for she was about to walk into the house that she hated.

"Thanks Dare" She said as she gave him a hug. In the process her sleeve lifted up revealing her cuts. Darien looked at it for a while as she proceeded to open the door. He quickly took her arm and lifted up her sleeve. Serena quickly wanted to run out of the car, but his firm grip held her there with him.

"Serena, what… what happened" Darien managed to say as he saw all the cuts that were still red as fire on her arm.

"Nothing" She said with a smile pulling her sleeve back down.

"Serena don't give me that bull shit" He said to her as her smile quickly faded and she looked at him angrily. Not necessarily angry with him, but angry at herself that she had let him see her cuts.

"Nothing Darien, I told you" She got out of the car and slammed the door. Darien reacted quick and got out of the car to follow her up to her door.

"Serena you can't tell me that's nothing. Why didn't you come to me?" He said as her eyes began to water.

"You don't live in that god damn house Darien, ok. You don't deal with the shit I deal with. You have a fucking home to go to, I have a house, not a home. So don't yell at me for what I'm doing. I'm trying to keep myself going"

"Serena" He tried to say to calm her down, but instead she only slammed the door in his face. She closed her eyes as she leaned on the door, thinking about what she had done to one of her best friends. She opened them to find her mother in a silk robe with a martini glass in her hand, looking way past her limit.

"What are you doing home so early, shouldn't you be out there smoking" Her mother said coldly, not meaning to hurt her daughter, it was only the alcohol talking, but Serena didn't know that. Her mother's words only seemed to stab her deep in the heart leaving a wound that would never close. Serena ignored her mother and went to her room as a tear fell from her face.

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**Well it will get better. And yes, obviously there is going to be some romance between Serena and Darien, I just couldn't put a second genre. Forgive me. Hope you likes this. I'll update soon. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review. **


	3. Cuts, Wounds, and Words

_**Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon.

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**__**Chapter 2: Cuts, wounds, and words **_

**_Whoever said "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me" were wrong. They should have said "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can cut much deeper." _**

Serena threw her back pack on the floor as she walked in her room. Her tears now getting heavier and heavier as she fell onto her bed. Her pink pillow soaked in her tear stains. Mascara falling down with her tears.

'how could I have just done that to Darien. He's my best friend' Serena thought as it only made her cry more. The tension inside her built up like a fire spreading through the forest. She closed her eyes for a moment and then hurried over to her dresser drawer. Underneath the piles of clothes, there lied the answer to all of her problems. Its sharp edges gleamed in the sunlit room.

"Take me" it called out to her.

"Rip, and tear your skin, release your pain, let me help you… take me" it continued to call out.

Serena picked up the scissors that were sharp and already bloodstained. IT sank into her, she didn't notice the hurt at first, but as she pressed down harder tears started to form in her eyes as the pain got worse for her. Blood leaked out of her, and as it did she felt her pain go away. She was in control of this, this was the only thing she was in control of. As the blood started to dry on her arm she rolled down her sleeve to take her backpack and start on her homework.

Darien's house

'what was wrong with Serena' He thought. He had known her almost all of his life and he had never seen her do things this bad. He knew what she went through at home, and had seen her behavior at school, but never did she do anything this drastic. He picked up his cell phone to dial her number but then remembered how she had reacted to him earlier. He thought he might give her some time to cool down.

Back at Serena's 3 hours later.

Serena tried to focus on her homework as her parents argued back and forth in the living room. She could hear her drunk mother yelling and she could hear the alcohol spilling on the hard wooden floors. She closed her eyes and continued to work on her math homework.

'2b-7b-4, is what' she thought in her mind, but was soon interrupted by her mother's scream as she heard her father slap her. Serena tried again to focus but her eyes started to water as more shouts came from her mother's mouth.

"You Drunken whore" She heard her father say in the distance. Serena lost her focus at that moment and then a tear fell from her face as it hit her math book. It started to get worse as she heard her mother being beat and hit against the wall. Serena couldn't take it anymore. She thought about the only person she could possibly call in a time like this. She dialed Darien's number.

Back at Darien's

As he sat watching TV on his couch, he saw his cell vibrate and light up on the table next to him.

"Hello" he said not even checking the caller ID.

"Darien I need you to pick me up" Serena said frantically as a vase in the living room crashed to the floor. Serena knew that her father was coming for her next.

"Why, what's wrong Sere?" he asked as he heard the panic in her voice. More bangs and clashes made Serena jump in her seat as she continued to talk to him.

"Just come pick me up, please Darien, just wait outside I'll meet you out there" Serena said as she hung up the phone.

Darien grabbed his keys and headed for Serena's house. Serena put down her pencil and suddenly turned her head towards her door as she heard her father bang on the door. Serena quickly got down underneath her bed. Her father busted open the door, as he walked into the calm room. It was quiet as he looked around. Her math book on the desk, pencil and paper with a half written problem written on it.

Her backpack lay on the floor as Serena tried her best not to breathe. She saw her fathers shoes walk across her room in silence as she noticed the little blood on them. It was her mother's no doubt. He finally walked out of the room and Serena let out a big sigh of relief. She got up out under her bed slowly as she saw Darien pull up in front of her house. She quietly took of the screen of her window and made her way outside to meet him. She got into the car fast before her father caught her.

"Drive" she said quickly as Darien drove down the street. The car ride was silent as Serena thought about what could have happened to her if her father caught her. She swallowed hard and her throat hurt as she closed her eyes.

"Darien looked at her as she sat there still and quiet. He placed his hand over hers, trying to tell her everything would be alright. Serena felt his warm hand on hers and looked at him, both knowing not to say anything. Darien drove up to a little place out of town. He thought it would be a nice quiet place for her. They both got out of the bar as Serena leaned up against it, looking out at the big green valley. It was a few miles out of town and looked more like the country that the city. Darien walked over to her and leaned on the car next to her.

"Want to talk about it" He asked as she just looked out into the open field. All Serena wanted to do was run away. Run away from everything in that open field and live out the child hood she never got to have. Serena shook her head in response.

"We don't have to talk about it" He said looking down at the ground, hands in his pocket and the wind blowing his dark raven hair. Serena took a deep breath and spoke.

"You know, I wonder what's out there, besides this town" She said looking out at the field.

"What do you mean" He said trying to comprehend what she was trying to tell him.

"You know, like the world. What's out there" she said.

"Yeah I wonder that sometimes" He said looking at her as her long blonde hair blew in the wind getting into her face.

"Dare," She said looking him in the eye, "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I was just so upset and…"

"It's fine" he said moving so that he was in front of her. She looked at him and her heart started to stir in her chest. He pulled her closer to him, as she wrapped her arms around his waist. He took his hands behind her head and moved her close to his lips where he locked his with hers. Her heart pounded a million times a minute as she kissed his soft lips. She had known him practically all her life and this was one part she didn't know about him. When they parted she looked at him and they both smiled.

"I don't know where that came from" Darien said as Serena looked at him in his soft blue eyes.

"Me neither" she said trying to put a smile on her face.

"But I did like it" He said as she blushed and he took her in for another kiss.

"Darien," Serena said breaking the kiss after a few moments.

"Yeah" he said looking at her.

"Doesn't it scare you" she asked him as he tried to understand what she meant.

"What do you mean?" He asked her.

"Me and my cutting. Doesn't it scare you to even know me" She said as he took her close to him.

"No, I think you hurt Serena. That's why you do what you do. I think you're a beautiful person. I mean you've been my best friend since kinder garden. I could never be scared of you. Just promise me Serena that you won't do that again. And if you feel like you have to then please call me or anything, I'll always have time for you" He sadi stroking her face with his hand.

"I can't promise you anything, but I'll try. Thank you" She said giving him a hug, as a pair of tears left her eyes onto his shoulder.

"Look at me" He said whipping of her tears with his finger.

"It's going to be ok" He said holding her in his arm protectively.

"I want it to be ok, and it never is. If I died tomorrow who would care, life would still go on. No one would care" She repeated.

"I would care. Just promise me you will come to me if something happens again" He said still holding her close to him.

"You ready to go home"

"No" she said quietly still holding on to him. Darien held on to the fallen angel in his arms as he thought of a plan.

"You know, my parents wouldn't mind if you came to spend the night"

"Are you sure" she asked him.

"Yeah, they're out of town" He said as there appeared a smile on her face.

"Come on, let's go" He said putting his arm around her. Serena felt safe with him. She trusted him with her life and knew that maybe today wasn't all that bad after all.

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**Don't worry more to come. Please read and review I appreciate it. Thanks you guys. :) **


	4. Puppet girl

Chapter 4 Puppet girl 

The next day Serena made her way down the dreaded hall. She was on her way to English class, her favorite class of the day. The rest of her friends didn't quiet like it all that much, but Serena enjoyed it. When they had a poetry assignment it allowed her to have creativity, to express how she felt, and have someone perceive it differently from what she meant by it.

"Well guys, I want to give you 15 minutes to write whatever you feel like. Tell me what's on your mind" Ms. Crista said as she stood in front of her class.

"GO!" She said as Serena looked down at the blank piece of paper. It was her canvas, something she could turn into a work of art, but first she had to think. She closed her eyes as she heard the pencils writing on the paper. She saw it then. It hit her like daggers. She saw the blood, she felt the pain, she saw it burn in the back of her head, it was the ghost that haunted her, it was the rain cloud that wouldn't leave her alone. She felt the cold edge on her skin and opened her eyes in terror. To her surprise no one had noticed, she was still in her small desk with a blank page in front of her. She put the pencil on her paper and continued to write…

Puppet Girl on her strings

Make her dance, make her sing

Make her cut make her bleed

Pull the string to make her smile

Beat her while she stands on stage

Lock her up in a puppet's cage

Put her in the dark where she can't see

Then put her in the spotlight to make her be what you want to her to be

Let her cry then tell her to shut up and wait for her to die

Never let her be herself, just hide her in the corner on the shelf

Make her disappear with one pull of the curtain and make sure she gone for certain

Make her life a living hell, scream at her and yell

Tell her that she's worth nothing

That she doesn't know anything

Abuse her and use her

Make her be what your eyes want to see

You know that she's dying

But just ignore

You know that when she dies, she'll be a puppet girl no more

When the 15 minutes was up she turned her paper over and passed it up with everyone else's. Ms. Crista gave the next assignment as the room was once again silent.

Over at her desk, Ms. Crista was interested to see what her students had written. Some was about how hungry they were, others about flowers and happy shit like that, but then came a striking poem that was full of anger. She read it as her eyebrows scrunched up to see that the words were really written there. She got done with it and graded a big A on the paper. Serena had definetly written what was on her mind.

After class, Serena grabbed her books and was making her way out the door when Ms. Crista stopped her.

"Serena, could I talk to you for a minute" Ms.Crista said in a happy, glowing face. Ms. Crista always had a great personality, and always taught her students that there was always a brighter side to things.

"Sure" Serena said as she told Darien to wait for her at his car.

"Well I want to talk to you about your poem" Serena knew that she would probably be sitting at a shrinks chair next month saying why she does the things she does.

"It was beautiful Serena, but may I ask you were such depression comes in, who the puppet girl is, if you don't mind" She said with a lipstick smile and motioned for Serena to sit down in the plastic chair next to her.

"Well, a lot has been going on at home and college is looking prettier than ever" Serena said as Ms.Crista gave a slight chuckle.

"Well if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here" She said with another smile.

"Thanks Ms.Crista" Serena said with a smile hugging her teacher. Ms.Crista was one of the people who she could confide into. Before she ever stepped foot in the counselors office she went to Ms. Crista.

"Hey, what did Ms.Crista want from you" Darien asked as Serena walked towards his direction.

"Oh she just wanted to talk about what I wrote" Serena said nonchalantly.

"What did you write…" He was soon cut off as a jeep with Rei, Lita, and a few other guys in it came up.

"Hey Sere, come on wanna ride with us" Rei asked as she had a beer bottle in her hand. Serena looked at Darien and then at Rei. The angel said "Go with Darien" and the devil said "Come on go have some fun" Serena thought about it for a while, but some habits never change, and she ignored the angel.

"Come on Darien lets go with them" Darien thought about it and knew he wouldn't be apart of it.

"You can go, but I've got a lot to do. I'll see you later, alright, just don't fuck up anything" He told Serena as she looked at him. She nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek before getting into the car with Rei and Lita.

They drove down the road before stopping at the local skate park for a smoke. It was an exilerating thrill every time Serena was with Rei. She smoked, she sniffed coke, she got high, and she drank, and she even prostituted herself to make money. Rei had been to juvy and had been poor all her life. Serena always felt bad for Rei, but the way Rei described her life it was a thrill. Multiple times Rei came over to Serena's house, either because she needed a place to stay, or she was trying to get away from her molesting father. That was probably the hardest part of her life.

"Hey Sere" Rei said drunk, but sober enough to ask for what she needed.

"I need to stay over your place tonight ok"

"Ok" Serena said as she took a puff of weed and passed it back over to one of the guys. Serena could see Rei was beginning to look wasted.

"I think we really should get her home" Serena said to one of the guys who was helping the sleeping Rei up from the bench, as Lita went over to her boyfriend Thomas.

As they tried to get Rei to the car they heard a loud noise behind them.

"Lita you want to cheat on me" Thomas said after he slapped Lita in her face. She was red and was now in tears.

"Thomas I didn't mean to it just happened" Lita said crying out hystrically.

"You fucking slut" He said as he hit her more. Serena ran over to them, trying to save one of her best friends.

"You get away from me too, you slut" As he hit Serena with a heavy blow, making her fall to the floor. Lita ran over to help her friend as Serena tried to get up off the ground.

"You fucking whore" He said as he bulled out a piece of steel that would change Lita's life.

"BOOM" The sound made its way out of the park and through the neighborhood. Serena's eyes went wide as she could feel a warm substance on her hands and lower body. It was Lita's blood. She had been shot. Lita collapsed on her friend as the guys came over to help her out.

"HELP, HELP, GOD PLEASE!" Serena said as her best friend laid on top of her bleeding. The ambulance came and took Lita away as Serena held her friend's hand as they did all they could to save her.


	5. Can I Trade You

**Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon.

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_**Chapter 5 – Can I trade you **_

**What does one think about when death is upon them? What are their last thoughts? What would they want to say with their last breath?**

Serena got out of the ambulance as the paramedics rushed Lita into the emergency room. Serena wondered if she would ever see her friend again, if she would be alright. So many thoughts ran through her head as she turned around to find the guys behind her, also drenched in Lita's blood.

"Is she going to be alright?" One guy asked. Serena was quiet. What could she say? She didn't even know if Lita would live to see tomorrow. Serena stood there as still as a lion looking for their prey. It was almost as if she had blocked everyone out. She could see it. It was almost as if she was standing back watching a play. There she was a white wife beater on with blood all over it. Her jeans a shade of red and her wrist band that had slid down her arm was now revealing her cuts. She saw the nurses, the doctors, the many sick people around her, and the man standing behind her who was talking to her. She didn't answer. Serena came back to reality a few more minutes later to see Darien running in her direction threw the sliding glass doors.

"Darien" She said running to him as he held her tight in his arms. She started to cry into his chest, letting out her emotions.

"What happened" He said not knowing who was hurt.

"Lita got shot by Thomas" she said still crying hard.

"What" Darien said shocked that his friend of several years was sitting somewhere in an operation table with a bullet inside of her. He held Serena even tighter.

After several hours of waiting in the waiting room, Serena's head started to spin with ideas that she would never see Lita again, and would be attending a funeral next week for her best friend. Just then and there a middle aged man with his white jacket came into the room heading in Serena's and Darien's direction.

"Are you Serena Williams" The doctor asked. Serena nodded her head in response. The doctor pulled up a chair next to them as Serena waited to hear what he had to say.

"Your friend Lita has suffered much blood loss, and will be paralyzed" Serena cupped her hand over her mouth as she thought about Lita. She was a track star, and now her dreams were gone.

"There is still hope for her, if you'd like you may go see her" The doctor said before he walked away. Darien began to stand up as Serena was still sitting on the plastic chair trying to swallow what the doctor said.

"Aren't we going to go see her?" He asked.

"I can't" Serena said quietly.

"Why not" He said to her gently.

"I can't go in there and see my best friend sitting there, knowing that she's paralyzed. Darien she's never going to walk again, she's never going to run, she's never going to do anything she used to" Serena said as tears fell down her face.

"Didn't you hear the doctor, there's still hope for her, hope" He said as she looked up at him while he kneeled in front of her. He wiped her tears and took her by the arm, trying to support her while she walked down the hall. They walked in as the nurse marked her chart to smile at the two coming in.

"She can't talk yet, but she can hear you" She said passing the two on her way out. The door closed and it was quiet. The monitor beat as Lita continued to breath on her own. Serena sat next to her and held her hand, knowing that Lita couldn't feel it. A tear fell down her face slowly, as if time itself became slower. Lita opened her eyes, almost to feel Serena's presence there in the room.

"Hey" Serena said still with her tears falling. "I wish I could trade you" Serena whispered in her ear as Darien watched her and almost wanted to cry himself, but he knew he had to be strong for the both of them.

When Lita fell back asleep, they were informed that Lita would begin to go to a rehabilitation center and that there was a 50 percent chance that she may walk again. Serena felt a sense of hope, but still wished they could add another 50 percent to it. Serena and Darien stayed with Lita the whole night. They both dozed off here and there, but could never completely get a good night's sleep with the noise outside.

"Here you go" Darien said half way into the night when he brought Serena some hot cocoa.

"Thanks Dare" Serena said as she took into her icy cold hands that weren't cold in reality but in her mind their were cold as a glacier. In her mind everything seemed cold and dark, and the cocoa didn't seem to make a difference.

"I hate hospitals" Serena said breaking the silence in the eerie room.

"Why" Darien asked taking a sip of his drink.

"It's so gloomy, dark, and depressing. It's kind of like death all around and no one has to fake if their alive like in life" She said looking out the tiny hospital window in the room.

"That was deep" Darien said looking at her seeing a whole other side to her. One that was profound, yet scary to him in his heart.

"What did you tell Lita earlier" He asked as Serena sat still.

"I told her I wish I could trade you" She said to him without hesitance.

"No you don't" Darien said concerned by her response to his question.

"Yes I do, what I have to get up for in the morning, no body cares, no one ever has" She said more quietly at the end of her sentence. Darien took her hand into his.

"I care about you Sere" He said in a quiet voice while taking her hand up to his mouth where he kissed the back of it gently. She smiled and put her head on his shoulder.

'I know you care, and I care about you' She thought to herself, 'But maybe one day I loose you like I lost myself'.

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**Hey guys sorry this was shorter. There's so much more to come. The next chapter may be a tear jerker. Just FYI. Oh yeah, this story does not contain anything about Sailor Scouts and the negaverse or anything like that. It's just… well… life. I'll update soon. Please R&R. Thanks. **


	6. Rei's Story

**Hey Guys thanks for the reviews, here's your update.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon.

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****Waking up from a bad dream to life is a nightmare in itself**

**Chapter 6: Rei's Story**

In her dreams she was suffocating, screaming, yelling, wanting someone to help her. She opened her eyes up to a morning lit room. She looked around at her quiet junky room. The cool breeze outside made her curtains blow inward towards her. Her long raven hair fell over her face and she pushed it back with her hand. Her mind started to spin as she looked around the room.

'Right I have a hangover' she remembered as she looked out the window. She turned to her tiny pink alarm clock on her nightstand it said 11:57.

'Nice' she thought sarcastically to herself. She got out of bed slowly still massaging her head of her head ache. She made her way down the hall to find her mother gone once again.

_Weekend away with Derek, see you on Monday. – Mom. _

Rei took the note off of the fridge and took it in her hand and crumpled it up. Her mother never said she loved her, never. She was neglected, ignored, a motherless child so to speak. She threw it away in the trash can to open a fridge that only had yogurt in it.

'I forgot mom put me on a diet this month' Rei remembered as she grabbed a carton of yogurt and a spoon. As she sat there quiet in her seat at the wooden table that she and her brother had carved their names in when they were younger she thought about what her life would have been like if it never happened. If her father never died, if her brother never left, if she never, if she never…

It was almost 9 years ago. Life was good. Her father and mother were happily married with two children. Rei was only 9 years old and her brother, Mark 16. Her father, Drew, was a good, honest man, who worked hard for every penny he made. They had a nice house, nice clothes, and not a care in the world that is until the accident.

It was early winter and Drew was on his way to work, but this time was different. He was taking his daughter Rei to school. They laughed about silly things and sang songs on the radio as they drove down the road.

"Daddy,"

"Yes Rei"

"Why does it snow" Rei asked as she looked outside the window at the white snow falling silently on the ground. It was so pure and untainted.

"Because it does" Drew said not knowing what to say to his daughter's question. He smiled at her and she smiled back, but as he looked back at the road, suddenly a huge truck came crashing in their direction. The horn sounded off loud as the two cars emerged and hit each other hard.

Rei woke up in a hospital with a few cuts and bruises on her arms and face. But the sight that would burn in her memory would be her mother's face when she received the news. Her mother fell into Mark's arms and started to cry hysterically.

"No, God, No" she screamed. Rei wanted to cover her ears, but couldn't as she began to feel dizzy.

'What is happening? Why is my mother crying? Where is my daddy?' Rei thought.

"Mommy" Rei said quietly in the hospital bed as her mother looked to see her small child get up from the bed.

"Where is Daddy" She asked. Her mother put her hand over her mouth and the nurse went over to assist Rei.

"Dear you should lie down" The nurse said as she tried to put Rei back under the covers, but Rei refused, she wanted her father.

"No I want my daddy, where's my daddy?" Rei said slipping away from the nurse and past her mother in the hall. She raced down the hall in her white gown, looking for her father in every room. She shouted, and no one answered. No one answered.

But then there he was. On a stretcher, stone cold, not breathing, Rei saw him.

"Daddy wake up, wake up daddy" She said shaking him. But he didn't answer. The nurses took her away as she kicked and screamed down the hall, tears flowing down her face, all she wanted was her daddy.

A few weeks later, Rei was in her black dress looking at her father's casket. Colored flowers fell lay still on top of it. Rei stood still not understanding why. Why had God taken him away from her? Her father meant the world to her and now he was dead.

Her and her family packed up their things and moved away except fro her brother that is. Mark decided to drop out of school and leave the family. Rei cried for months over it. Her brother was the only one who she could talk to, that understood her. And now he was leaving. It seemed like everyone left in her life and the cycle would never stop.

A few years later her mother started to date again, and the more men she brought home, the more Rei's world would crash down like a plane in flames. Rei looked older for her age even though she was only around the age of 13, she could pass for a girl of 15 or 16, and boy did that appeal to the men, but one man in particular would have her dreaming of the haunting things he did to her.

"Don't tell" He used to tell her as he would leave the room. Rei sat there still and quiet until he would leave and then she would cry. He was abusive to her mother and she knew that she wouldn't ever say a word. But by the age of 14 she had had enough.

"Mom" Rei said one rainy, stormy night.

"Yeah hon." She said with a cigarette in her hand, looking more drunk than usual.

"Gary, he…he does things to me, puts things inside of me" She said as tear after tear flowed out of her eyes.

"What do you mean honey" Her mother said with a bottle in her hand.

"He molested me mom" She said upset and angry at the same time.

"It's ok, no big deal" She said so drunk that she didn't even know what her little girl was talking about. Rei could smell the alcohols on her breathe and a tear her heart seemed to break. It seemed to hurt. Rei ran as fast as she could with the wind in her face and the rain pouring down on her like a bucket of water. She ran and ran and ran. There was no stopping her. She wanted to run away from it all. Everything she had been through in the past few years. Just to run away from the blade, Gary, her mother, her father's death, her life. She stopped out of breathe and sat down on the sidewalk underneath part of a building where she could stay dry. She held her self tight, tying to warm up, but still she shook, shivering from the cold inside of her and out.

She looked behind her to see that the building was a radio shop. She heard the music and laid her head on the building. She closed her eyes and tried to go to sleep. She started to cry though when she heard a song that sparked every emotion inside of her.

_Well I couldn't tell you why she felt that way she felt it every day _

_And I couldn't help her I just watched her make the same mistakes again _

_What's wrong what's wrong now too many too many problems_

_Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs _

_She wants to go home but nobody's home_

_It's where she lies _

_Broken inside _

_With no place to go, No place to go _

_To dry her eyes _

_Broken inside… _

As Rei heard the song she started to cry even more. She looked around. She was on the streets by herself, with no place to go what so ever.

_Her feelings she hides.  
Her dreams she can't find.  
She's losing her mind.  
She's fallen behind.  
She can't find her place.  
She's losing her faith.  
She's fallen from grace.  
She's all over the place… _

And with that Rei slept her first night out on the streets.

After a few more days on her own, she had met another young girl, Lena, the same age. She dressed revealingly and cussed more than anyone Rei had ever heard, but she liked her company.

"Hey you should come with me tonight, you could make some money" Lena said as Rei looked up at her while eating her small ice cream at the Baskin Robbins with her at the table. Rei knew what she was getting into with Lena. She had seen it before on Oprah and documentaries, but she needed the money and accepted.

By the next few weeks Rei was out of school and prostituting on the streets with Lena. She had made more money than she had ever seen in her lifetime in just a week. She and Lena had become best friends, always looking out for each other, because even though they made good money, the streets were dangerous. Everyday they heard about someone getting shot, arrested, or raped and they didn't want to end up on the six o'clock news with the rest of them. But fate had a different idea.

Rei was at their tiny hotel room where she was putting on her makeup when all of the sudden there was a knock on the door. She opened it to find their friend Hillary at the door.

"It's Lena, she's dead" She said out of breath as Rei's heart dropped. She had lost Lean, her best friend in the whole wide world. Lena meant everything to her and she was gone. Rei ran out of the building again running as fast as she could from her problems to the only place she could go, home.

But even though Rei was somewhat on the right path, going to school regularly, she still was a hurt and confused little girl inside. She cut herself deep and always wanted to cut her wrists or put a bottle of pills down her throat, but was too scared to do it. But when she went into a new high school, on account of her being expelled from her old one, she met Serena. The warm hearted girl who always had a smile on her face, or so she thought. But Rei had now grown to trust Serena and Serena had done the same. But still with her friendship, Rei still could hear the loud horn in her head, the blade on her skin, and the nightmares of Gary. It seemed as if it would never go away…

Ring- Ring

The phone began to ring and Rei picked up hoping it was her mother.

"Rei" Amy said as she picked up the phone.

"Yeah" Rei said taking another bite of her yogurt.

"Lita's been shot"

"What!"

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**Hey guys thanks so much for the reviews. YAY! You don't know how happy it makes me feel that people like my story. I hope you likes this chapter to get a feel for Rei, and the song is by Avril Lavigne "Nobody's Home". I thought it was appropriate.**

**Well please continue to stay with the story and keep reviewing. Thanks.**


	7. Revenge

_**Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon.

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_**Chapter 7: Revenge **_

**To forgive is hard, but to get even is easy **

Serena woke up to see Darien beside her asleep in the chair. She lifted her head lightly so that she wouldn't wake him. She made her way over to the window next to Lita's bed. She was still sound asleep breathing on her own now. Serena looked at her friend and smiled. Serena saw outside the window the sun rising and could feel its warm rays on her. She closed her eyes to take it in as the tiny breeze made its way into the room. She dreamed that she was in another world. Another world where she had no worries and no problems. She continued to keep her eyes closed as strong arms wrapped around her tiny frame.

"Morning" Darien whispered into her ear. Serena smiled and turned to face him and wrapped her arms around him.

"Morning" Serena said back as Darien leaned in to give her a kiss, but they were interrupted as a large bang came from the reception area of the hospital. They heard a loud voice and recognized it immediately.

"That's Rei" Serena said as both she and Darien ran outside to stop Rei from anything that might send her to juvy.

"Rei" Serena said as Rei was searching every door to find Lita, as Amy was right behind her trying to calm the raven haired girl down.

"Serena" Rei said relieved as she gave her best friend a hug. Rei took Serena's face into her hands and stared her in the eye.

"Where's Lita?" She asked.

"She's in the room down the hall" Serena pointed to where Lita's location was and Rei took off down the hall, pulling the strap of her purse up as she walked. She reached Lita's room and stopped when she opened the door. Rei closed her eyes to take it all in. She heard Serena, Darien, and Amy come up behind her as they stopped to look at Rei who was indeed still trying to digest her friend's condition.

"What happened" Rei said more upset and angry than sad.

"Thomas shot her after they had an argument…" Serena said but was cut off when Rei stormed down the hall.

"Come on Amy" Rei said as Amy followed her friend.

"I guess we'll see you guys later" Amy said as she followed her friend.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Serena shouted to Amy and Rei down the hall. Amy turned around and gestured that she didn't know. Darien and Serena just looked as the fiery raven made her way out the sliding doors of the hospital.

"Rei, where are we going?" Amy asked when they made their way to her car.

"Just get in the car"

"But where are we going" Rei's eyes got larger and looked like there was fire in them that was burning with rage.

"Just get in the fucking car Amy" She said as she got into the driver seat and slammed the door hard that the glass in the window almost shattered onto the ground in the parking lot. Rei drove off down the road into a nice suburbia neighborhood. She looked for the white house with red brick. She knew that house all to well. She stopped as Amy wondered what her friend was going to do. Amy's hands started to get clammy and she started to sweat more as Rei pulled out something from the glove compartment. Amy wanted to say something, but the words wouldn't come out of her mouth.

"Stay here" Rei said as she left her friend in the car scared out of her mind.

Rei rang the door bell and a brown haired man answered the door. It was Thomas.

"Rei…" A loud boom went off in the air as Thomas fell to the floor of his house. Rei stood there with the gun in her hands as Thomas lay on the white carpet, blood flowing off of his forehead onto the floor.

Images began to come back to Rei in her mind. She saw Gary, her father, the truck, Lena, her mother being hit, and then it came to her like a horrible nightmare in her sleep. She saw Lita get shot. She saw Thomas over her with the gun, she saw it. She looked down at him and pointed the gun at him again. She fired two more shots into his chest.

"Rei… Rei what are you doing?" Amy said to Rei between sobs in the car. She had seen her friend shoot Thomas, and Amy knew she was linked to his murder know. Rei walked back to the car and started to drive off down the road.

Amy cried the whole way now knowing that her dreams and aspirations were gone if they were to find out who killed Thomas. Even with Amy's sobs Rei blocked her out and continued to drive until she reached a lake.

She got out of the car as Amy did the same still red in the face from her crying. Rei paced back and forth as Amy tried to figure out what her friend was doing.

"Rei, Rei" Amy continued to say before Rei acknowledged that she was there.

"Why Rei" Amy said still crying with frustration.

"Why Amy, why. You want to know why. For every man who thinks he can hit or abuse a woman and think he can get away with it. Do you know how many times I've been raped and hit? I was a fucking hooker, where I saw my friends get shot and put into a dumpster okay damn it." Rei said as she got closer up to Amy so that they were only an inch away.

"You don't know what it's like Amy. You don't have to wonder when the next time you're going to get rapped, or when the next time your friend is going to get shot…"

"But Rei the Bible says that things happen for a reason…"

"Fuck that. Where was God when I was getting rapped? Where was God when my mom was getting beat? Where was God when I was on the streets? Where was God when I was cutting my self? Uh Amy, where was he damn it? Where was he when you were sticking your finger down your throat?"

"Rei that was in the past"

"Oh don't fucking lie Amy. I heard you the bathroom" Rei said with mean eyes as Amy only started to cry more. Amy sat herself on the ground as her hands covered up her eyes. Rei looked down at her friend that she had hurt and came down to comfort her.

"Hey, hey look at me" Rei said as Amy looked up to see her. "Everything is going to be fine"….

**At the hospital **

Lita was still asleep in the afternoon as Darien and Serena stayed by her side. Serena was reading her magazine as Darien was sitting playing games on his cell phone.

'Men' Serena thought to herself as she continued to read the article on Beyonce' and Jay-Z until the television caught her eye.

"Dare, turn it up" Darien looked at the television and put the volume up.

"A young man by the name of Thomas Jason Hill was killed today in his suburbia home around 10:00 this morning. Police have not yet identified the suspects yet, but more information will be given at 6:00, Tina back to you" The reporter said on the screen.

"Oh my God" Serena said out loud as she automatically pulled out her cell phone to dial Rei's number. The phone rang and rang but no one answered. Serena's worst fears were beginning to be confirmed as Rei's phone went to voice mail.

"She's not answering" Darien said as Serena's heart started to beat.

"No" She said quietly.

"Hello there" The short blonde haired doctor said as she came in.

"Well I just got a hold of Lita's parent's and they are on their way, you can leave if you want" She said.

"Thank you, we really have to go"

"Where" Darien said confused.

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**Yeah I couldn't have Thomas get away with it now could I. Well there is more to come. Keep reading and reviewing. Thanks. **


	8. Carousel

_**Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon

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**_Chapter 8: Carousel_**

**Being a teenager is like being on a carousel. It seems like your spinning out of control and no one can slow you down. You don't know when to get off nor do you know which way to turn. **

"Serena where are we going" Darien said as he followed her down the hall of the hospital as her long blonde hair swayed side to side.

"We need to find Rei"

"Why"

"I want to make sure Rei didn't do anything drastic. I know her more than any one else does and believe me, she seemed pretty pissed when she stormed out of here. If Thomas is dead right now, there's only one person who would do something like this" Serena turned back around to go through the sliding doors of the hospital as Darien pulled out his car keys.

As they drove down the road Serena continued to dial Rei's cell phone.

_**At the lake **_

Rei was still comforting Amy who was scared out of her mind still.

"Ring- Ring" She heard her cell phone in her purse go off. With Amy still crying, Rei went over to pick it up.

"Hello" Rei said in an annoyed tone.

"Rei" Serena said apprehensively over the phone.

"Oh Sere it's you, hey listen I have to come over today okay. Just leave the window screen open"

"When will you be over?"

"I don't know just leave it open" Rei said about to hang up the phone so she could tend to Amy, who was really starting to annoy her now.

"Rei"

"Yeah"

"I love you okay" Serena said as her heart broke inside, now feeling as if Rei did what Serena's mind had been saying the whole day.

"I love you too" Rei said hanging up.

_**Back in the car **_

Serena saw that Rei had hung up and slid her phone back into her purse. Serena looked up at the now cloudy sky, almost indicating that the heavens were telling her it was going to be another fucked up day. Serena put hands over her face and started to cry.

'Why did Rei have to do this? Why did Lita have to get shot?" Why was I even put on this earth?' With those thoughts Serena started to cry even more.

"Hey, hey, Sere what's wrong" Darien said putting a hand on her shoulder while trying to focus on the road and her at the same time.

"Everything" She said like a confused and upset little girl trying to find her way back home. Darien pulled over to the side of the road and took the keys out of the ignition. With the silence and just the pattern as cars flying past them on the road, Serena's weeping became clearer.

"Tell me what's on your mind" Darien said in a comforting voice leaning over to comfort her. Serena wiped her face off from her tears and began to speak.

"I'm sick of everything Darien" She said as he held her in his arms like a child. He stroked her hair gently as she laid her head into his chest feeling soothed by him.

"I just want to get off" She said softly.

"What do you mean" Darien said before kissing her head.

"Off this carousel. It's like I've been spinning on it all my life and it just won't stop. I'm so tired of spinning and I just want to get off" She said as her last tear fell. As Darien rubbed her back and comforted her, she thought of a year ago when she thought things just couldn't get worse…

She was lying in her bed as her parents shouted back and forth, alcohol spilling on the floors and walls as her father beat her mother harder against the wall. She bangs, shouts, and screams, were beginning to get worse in Serena's mind that they seemed to echo and wouldn't stop echoing in her mind. She put her hands over her ears to stop the screams in her head, but they kept getting louder. She reached for her CD player and looked at it. It was a blank CD. Serena didn't really care what was on it, as long as it was loud enough to drown out her mother and father, it didn't matter. She pressed play, and anticipation went through her body as she wondered what was on the CD. The melody started up after a few seconds. She knew this song. It was one of her favorites.

_she can't hide no matter how hard she tries  
her secret disguised behind the lies  
and at night she cries away her pride  
with eyes shut tight staring at her inside  
all her friends know why she can't sleep at night  
all her family asking is she alright  
all she wants to do is get rid of this hell  
well all she's got to do is stop kiddin herself  
she can only fool herself for so long_

_I'm too weak to face me  
(she can only fool herself)_

_I never know just why you run so far away far away from me…_

Serena's tears started to fall faster and more at every lyric that made its way out of the speaker. She knew it was her. She was hiding behind her lies and the truth. Everyone thought she was alright, but she wasn't she was bleeding. She was bleeding damn it and no one could see it. Serena held the ear phones tight to her skull like she wanted to go deaf or rip something. She closed her eyes and shut them tight and screamed loud…

_**Late in the evening **_

Serena breathed heavy as she found herself in her pink bed underneath her canopy. She looked at the window and Rei was knocking on it so that Serena would wake up and let her in. Serena got out of bed and opened the window for her friend.

"Damn I thought you were supposed to leave the window open" Rei said as she put her purse on the floor of Serena's room.

"Yeah I'm sorry" Serena said scratching her head. She stopped as she watched Rei pull out cash from her purse.

"Rei where did you get all that?" Serena asked as she looked at the bundles of cash Rei had stuffed into her purse.

"I went out tonight and turned a few tricks for the money"

"Rei I thought you stopped that" Serena said concerned about her best friend.

"I did for awhile and then I had to start back up again"

"Why" Serena said still afraid for her friend.

"Cause I fucking need the money Sere. I don't live in the kind of house you do if you haven't noticed" She said shoving the money back into her purse. Serena sat on her bed and looked at Rei look at her money unsure of how she would spend it.

"What did you do today" Serena asked knowing that Rei would avoid the real answer. Rei stopped and stood still. She looked at Serena as Serena's tiny little smile that she had faded even more.

"Why Sere, you think I killed Thomas" Rei said getting angry.

"I didn't say that I just…"

"No because you no what I shot that fukin' mother fucker" Rei said getting closer to Serena, making Serena's heart beat faster and harder.

"That's why I got to stay here for awhile. I'm going to move some where, you know. Away from this god damn hell hole" Rei said making a pallet on the floor.

"Rei why the hell did you shoot him" Serena asked out of curiosity.

"Because he shot Lita, justice should be served"

"Well God will do that"

"What the hell is it with people and God today" Rei said laying her head down hard on the soft pillow, turning her body the opposite direction of Serena's location.

"Well stay as long as you need I guess" Serena said as she turned her tiny light off in the room and laid her head on her pillow to fall asleep.

It was a few hours later and Serena still couldn't fall asleep. She was sleepy yet she fought the sleep that wanted to take over, because she knew that every time she fell asleep, nightmares would come to her mind. Little did she know Rei was having the same problem…

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**Hey guys, thanks so so so so so so so … much for the reviews it is so flippin awesome. I want to recognize the song that I put in this chapter it is "Carousel" By Linkin Park. They're my favorite band and I had to use this song because it means so much to me when I was going through a difficult time in my life. (tear) Oh enough with that. I'll update soon. **


	9. My Friend the Blade

_**Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor moon.

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_**Chapter 9: My Friend the Blade**_

**Sometimes the worst things in life disguise themselves as our friends and then we become addicted. When you become an addict, we become self centered, and uninvolved with the world and people around us.**

Serena awoke to find Rei's pallet of blankets on the floor and her window open, pink curtains flowing inside the room by the wind. Serena looked around her room like a lost child and laid her head back down. All she wanted to do was stay in bed, could you blame her, it was a Sunday. She laid her head back down on the pillow and closed her eyes. She snuggled down in her bed with the pillow as her friend. Just as she got comfortable, the door bell rang.

Outside Mina waited patiently for someone to open the door. The breeze was nice outside, an ideal spring day for anyone. As she waited she noticed a ladybug crawling up the tiny vines of the flower. She put her hand out and it crawled on. It was like when Serena and she were younger and they would play in the open fields during vacations with their families. She put it back on the flower and noticed that she was still outside. She rang the doorbell again as Serena put her pink, fuzzy slippers on to answer the door. Mina rang it again knowing that her cousin was probably still asleep in her bed.

"I'm coming" Serena shouted. She opened the door to reveal her cousin.

"Oh Mina, it's you" Serena said.

"Is that all you're going to say"

"No, I'm sorry. Come on in" Serena said with a smile.

"How's your mom" Mina asked as she saw her mother's bedroom door closed as she entered the house.

"I don't know. I can barely carry on a conversation with her these days"

Once they were safe and sound in Serena's room, Serena made her way back into her soft, cushy bed.

"Well the real reason I'm here is to figure out how Lita was doing. I got the news late yesterday"

"She's alright I guess" Serena said looking out her windows at the birds that flew high in the sky. Serena could only imagine what it feels like to fly away, to fly period.

"What do you mean I guess?"

"Well, she's paralyzed from the waist down," Serena started to say as water formed in her eyes, "But they said that there is still hope" Serena was now starting to water up more as a tear fell from her eye, just thinking about Lita not being able to walk made her feel hurt in her heart. Mina's heart sank too when she heard Serena's words. Mina's tears flowed from her face making a tiny droplet stain on Serena's bed. The two held each other and cried. Mina was not only crying with Serena because of Lita's condition, but because what was going on at home.

Mina was a perfectionist to say the least. Her mother constantly compared her to her cousins and older siblings. It felt as if Mina was always the mistake though in her mother's eyes. She recalled when her mother found out about her cutting.

"Mina go to sleep now you have church in the morning"

"Why do I have to go to sleep right now its like 10:00?"

"Because I said so" Mina's mother, Darlene, said in a forceful voice.

"Well I want to write" Mina said pulling out her note pad. She had been wanting to write a poem all day. Her day began fucked up and she was trying to express herself through her writing.

"Mina what did I tell you" Her mother said as she flicked the lights off"

"Mom, I need the light"

"Go to sleep Mina" She said more demanding. Mina threw her note pad on the floor and laid her head down hard on her pillow. All she could think about was how she had no control over anything, like her mother was constantly running her life for her. Mina fidgeted and couldn't stop fidgeting. Her mind was on one thing, her friend the blade.

Mina got up from her bed and looked around the room. Nothing appealed to her until she got a glimpse of her older sister's sewing machine in the corner of the room with the rest of her sewing supplies. Her sister, Haruka, had moved out a few years ago and had left a lot of things behind, and one thing in particular would help Mina with her problem.

She went over to grab the little cloth slicer ( AN: Look I don't know what it is, but it's sharp ok). Mina took it with her pretending to go to the bathroom. She closed the door and ran the water to act like she was washing her face. She slid down the wooden door of the bathroom, and took the sharp object which peeled her skin. Tiny drops of blood made its way down her arm. The burn was like a fire on her arm as the silver blade slid across it. She wanted to let out a scream from the pain, it had appeared that she had pushed down a bit too hard this time. She bit her lower lip in the pain as she started to cry.

Her mother was in the living room reading a book from Oprah's Book Club when she noticed her daughter had been in the bathroom a bit too long. She had already been informed of Mina's habits a few months before when Mina promised not to do it again, but as she thought in her mind, some habits never die.

She put her book down on the chocolate brown sofa and made her way down to the hall where Mina was in the bathroom cleaning up her arm.

"Mina?" Darlene said as she knocked on the door.

"Oh hold on mom" Mina said as she threw the thread cutter back into the pantry, putting her wristbands on.

"You cutting yourself" Her mother said in an intimidating tone.

"No" Mina lied as she walked faster to her bed and got into it.

"Oh really then what's this" Darlene said as she took off Mina's wristbands. The cut was still fresh and almost seemed to burn more as Mina's eyes laid a glimpse upon it.

"What the hell is wrong with you Mina!" Her mother shouted at her, as Mina tried to keep her act up.

"Nothing"

"Then why are you cutting yourself"

"Because that's the only thing that I have control over mom" Mina said now frustrated more than ever with her mother.

"Oh you don't have control do you, I'll show you what no control is honey! From now on, no hanging out with your friends. You come straight home after school. Your phone will be taken away and your allowance too"

"What the fuck mom, I just said I cut myself because I feel like I don't have any control, now your taking everything away from me, now I should just go slit my throat!"

"Mina Marie Thompson, don't you ever, ever raise your fucking voice at me ever again. These are the mother fucking rules and you will abide by them. I will forbid you to talk to Lita, Amy, and Rei. They are a bad influence on you. And starting next week you are going to go to counseling. Now close your god damn eyes and go to sleep!" Darlene slammed the door leaving Mina in the dark by herself. But in reality Darlene was too. Darlene put her hands over her eyes as tears flowed down her cheeks. Mina was in her bed crying hysterically.

'She can take my phone and my allowance, but my friends are something that no one can take away' Mina thought as it only made her cry even more.

The next few weeks went on and Mina felt as if she was labeled the mistake by her mother. Mina even had a new routine, her counseling.

"Well Mina I want you to write how you feel in a poem, since you like to write to express yourself" Dr. Carter said as he sat in his big cushy therapist chair. He slipped Mina a piece of paper and gave her a writing utensil. Mina starred at the piece of paper for awhile and then began to write.

_Are you disappointed are you ashamed_

_Is it because I was the biggest mistake_

_The mess up the screw up that you tried to raise _

_I'm sorry if I seem selfish that you seemed to think I want attention _

_If so I'll try not to speak my mind every damn day_

_Maybe I'll just hide like I did in the past_

_With my torn up skin that I showed you at last_

_Maybe they are better_

_I'm not worth anything_

_If you seem to treat them better _

_And leave me to be erased from the picture_

_I tried to be the best with my grades and awards _

_But when I brought them home you'd just try to ignore_

_But when she brought them home you were overjoyed _

_Where was my praise my reward _

_You say that I am so spoiled and that I've always been that way_

_Maybe you're right but I don't try to think that way_

_I know that you feel bad like you did something wrong because you saw all those cuts on my arm_

_But you didn't mom _

_I still love you_

_I promise I'm not suicidal_

_I promise I won't cut _

_I told you that before _

_I don't want to do that anymore_

_Won't you hold me in your arms and tell me it's ok_

_I promise this time I won't pull away_

_Maybe I'll try to be less selfish I'll try to stop my ways _

_But I'm just trying to be myself and I don't know if I can change_

_Why do you want o change me mom I'm just being me_

_I don't know what you want mom what you what to see_

Dr. Carter examined her writing as she sat there in the chair looking out the window. She could feel the warm sun threw the glass window and then she suddenly felt cold as the clouds covered the sun and all you could see was a glowing outline behind the gray in the sky.

"Well, Mina, this is really, really… interesting" He said as he went over the paper again.

"What do you mean?" Mina said confused by his response.

"Well you seem to act as if your mother is the reason why you cut" Mina's eyes started to get wide, as she knew that he had interpreted her poem the wrong way.

"Well that's not what I meant by it" Mina said like an upset child.

"Well then what did you mean by it?" He asked putting the paper down on the table next to him as he continued to interlace his fingers waiting for Mina to respond. But Mina sat in the chair quietly.

After about 45 minutes later the session was over.

"Well I guess we'll meet again" Dr. Carter said a bit annoyed with her as he put his papers into his brief case.

"Look at it closer" Mina said.

"What?" Dr. Carter said as he stopped rustling his papers.

"Take a closer look" she said as she grabbed her things and walked out of the door…

**Back to present **

"Well I think I'm going to go visit Lita" Mina said whipping her tears off of her face.

"Can I go with you?" Serena said as she sniffled.

"Come on butthead, you don't even have to ask" Mina said with a smile.

"Shut up Beavis" Serena said back playfully.

* * *

**Well I'll update the story soon. I'm trying to finish it by next month hopefully. Well keep reading. Thanks for the reviews. **


	10. A Student

_**Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon

* * *

**_

_**Chapter 10: A+ Student**_

_**People may be crazy, but it keeps them from going insane **_

Lita laid there paralyzed in her hospital bed. Her eyes were open slightly as she looked out the window. Her breathing was slow as the machine beside her mocked her breathing pattern. She turned her head slightly from the machine to the window. It was a cold and windy day. The kind of days you wanted to be lazy in bed, or crying in the bathroom because there was nothing to smile about. A tear fell from Lita's eye slowly. She looked up at the sky from her tiny window and thought…

She looked up at the sky, it was gray and cold. She wrapped her sweater tighter around her body. She walked barefoot in the muddy grass field to her old country house, which her great grandfather built decades before. The chimes on the front porch started to make noise as the wind blew. The sky looked more than gray, almost a brownish yellow, as the sun tried its hardest to make its way into the almost finished day. The air was humid, as the tiny sprinkles of April showers made its way across the field getting Lita wet. But unlike other girls, she didn't scurry into the house like a mouse hiding from the cat; instead she danced in the rain. She always believed that when showers came it meant God was crying for joy. She opened her arms wide and spun around fast in a circle catching the rain drops in her mouth. As she spun she saw the clouds above her spinning. She smiled as she collapsed in the ground.

"Lita" her mother yelled out to the field. Lita sprang up, knowing it was probably time for dinner. She ran fast through the rough, thick grass up to her white house. Her front porch squeaked as she made her way up the steps. She patted her Golden Retriever on the head and opened the screen door into the yellow kitchen, where her mother and father were sitting at their tiny round wooden table. When Lita entered the room she knew something was up.

"Lita we need to talk with you" Lita made her way over to the chair as her dirty foot prints made a trail behind her. She pulled the chair out and sat down as her father folded and unfolded his hands.

"What is it?" Lita asked confused.

"Well I just got a promotion and a raise"

"That's great" Lita exclaimed with a smile.

"Yes it is, but that's why we need to talk" Lita sat back down in her chair and looked at her parents confused.

"The new location for my job is in California, we'll be moving in a few weeks" Lita smiled faded as she heard the news.

"We can't move daddy, this is our home. Texas is all I know. Our family is here" Lita said with a tear.

"But dear its for the best…" Her mother tried to say, but Lita got up from the table and went straight to her room, slamming her door in the process.

The next week Lita's family was saying their goodbyes. But the hardest goodbye of them all was to leave her house behind. It was everything she knew. It was there that she had her first step, lost her first tooth, had her first eater egg hunt, and most of all it was where her grandmother was buried.

"Lita are you almost ready" Her dad asked as he loaded another suitcase in the car.

"Almost, can you guys wait a second, I forgot something" Lita said as she ran off through the field. She ran hard and fast, so fast that the wind beat against her skin as she ran. She came to a halt as she reached a grave stone. The flowers around it dead and wilted. She sat on her knees and ran her fingers against the rough stone.

"Hello Mother Dear" Lita said softly. She laid down on the grass with her head against the tombstone. She put her ear to the ground wanting her to respond.

"I have to leave Mother Dear. Please stay with me. I'll come back to visit whenever I get the chance. Just give me words of wisdom when I fall like you have done in the past." Lita's tears fell upon the grass, soaking into the earth. She kissed the grave stone and made her way back to the car.

"Ready" Her father asked as Lita sat down in the car full of luggage. Lita nodded her head and looked back at her house. As they drove off it got smaller and smaller. She continued to watch it until it was no longer visible to her human eye. She turned around to see the future in front of her.

A few months later Lita and her family moved into a bigger house then that of Texas. To Lita the new house looked more like a mansion compared to her old white house in Texas. Lita held her sandals in her hand as she looked up at the 2 story house in front of her. A few people made their way up the drive way that seemed to Lita more like a road. They had a plate of sweats and goodies in their hands as they approached their new neighbors.

"Hi neighbors, a woman with brown hair and blue eyes said as her husband was by her side.

"Hello" Lita's father said as Lita stood behind them with her dog by her side.

After introducing themselves they motioned to their daughter, Lita.

"This is our Daughter Lita" Her father said as Lita walked up to greet them.

"Hi" Lita said.

"Well where are you fine people from" The woman said.

"Where from a small town in Texas"

"Oh" The woman said now examining Lita and her family more closely.

"Well I hope you find it nice here in California" The woman said with a fake collagen smile.

"Come on Joe" She said taking her husband by the arm down the drive way. Lita knew this transition wouldn't be easy.

Lita started school and it seemed like things were beginning to get worse. People in California were definitely different from those in Texas. But things got better when she met a few nice people. Lita's days were beginning to get a little better, but then it took a turn for the worse when she came into English class.

"Welcome class to your first day of English class with me, Mr. Walker, but I prefer you just call me Leo. I'll be a long time sub for the rest of the year for your former teacher Ms. Ford, obviously you drove her up the wall" The class started to smirk, knowing that they gave their teacher hell, but this guy seemed pretty cool to them and they were willing to give him a shot.

"Well let's get started with the lesson shall we" He said as he took a glimpse at Lita. Her long legs showed underneath her skirt and her cleavage could be seen from his location in the room. He gave her a smile a she blushed and opened her book to the next lesson. She had to admit he was attractive. He had dark brown hair, and dark brown eyes. His body looked nice even though he was in a dress shirt and a tie.

Within the few weeks, Leo was definitely sending Lita signs. He was smiling at her, winking at her, and even rubbing against her "accidentally". She didn't know what it was about this man that got her heart pounding.

"Lita I need to see you for a moment" He said as she grabbed her books one day as the bell began to ring, issuing the end of the school day.

"Sure" Lita said. She sat on top of the desk as the rest of the class left out of the room. Leo turned off his computer and made his way over to Lita.

"So what is it that you want to talk to me about Leo" Lita said as he got closer to her.

"You know I think your heart is beating a million times a minute right now" He said as he was only a few inches from her face.

"How do you know that" Lita said in a quiet whisper.

"Because I can tell your shortage of breath" He said with a grin. Lita looked up at him as he took his hand behind her neck and kissed her hard. Lita wrapped her arms around his neck as his tongue entered her mouth. His hands trailed down her back as he grabbed her ass firm in his hand. She made a moaning sound and kissed him harder. He picked her up off of the desk. Her legs were wrapped around his waist as he put her on his desk. He moved down to her neck and kissed it there, until he unbuttoned her uniform shirt and started to kiss her breast. Lita was enjoying it and then a light bulb went off in her head. She pushed him off of him.

"Wait, wait" Lita said as she got up from underneath him.

"What's wrong?" Leo asked Lita as she buttoned up her shirt.

"It's just that this is so wrong, and we could both be in trouble for a thing like this" She turned around so that she couldn't look into his captivating eyes. He came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. He kissed the top of her head and continued to rub and soothe her.

"Then I guess we'll have to keep this a secret" Lita smiled at the thought, and in her heart she was scared.

"I guess so" She said getting her things.

"I'll see you later Mr. Walker" She said walking out of his classroom.

Their relationship escalated over time, as Lita was beginning to have major feelings for this man. It seemed like every other day they were together, and by a few months later, he took her virginity at 15. By the time he got what he wanted from her he was beginning to ignore her.

"Leo" Lita said one day after class.

"Why have you been ignoring me lately" She asked as she sat on his desk, showing some skin. He looked at her wanting to pounce on her but refrained.

"Because Lita, you and I are getting out of hand"

"What do you mean; it was you who talked me into this in the first place"

"Yes it was, but now I'm through with us. So that's why I'm, transferring schools next week, so there will be no more of this.

"What" Lita said shocked.

"Look Lita" he said getting closer to her.

"You are amazing, but it will never work out" A tear fell from Lita's eyes. He stroked the hair out of her face and licked the tear off of her face. He went down for a kiss with her and as he did the principal walked in.

"Mr. Walker" He said looking at both teacher and student together.

"In my office now" The principal said slamming the door. He left immediately from the classroom to follow his boss, leaving Lita by herself, and that was the last time she ever saw him.

Leo was given a sentence in jail for almost 6 months, and Lita remained at her school, being harassed by students about their affair.

"Look at the slut"

"She's slept with him you know" She would hear in the halls. Lita couldn't take anymore, until one night she picked it up, the blade. It was cold against her skin, yet it burned like a torch. She closed her eyes and let the pain sink in. She repeated over and over

"I want to go home, I want to go home". She wished she was Dorothy in the wizard of Oz and if she just clicked her heels together she'd be back in Texas where she knew she belonged. But still she was in California. When her parents got concerned about Lita's behavior they sent her to a rehab. There it only made her condition worse. To drown out the screams of disturbed patients she listened to the radio and when she did one night she heard her favorite song, but even thought it was her favorite she cried.

_Never win first place, I don't support the team  
I can't take direction, and my socks are never  
clean  
Teachers dated me, my parents hated me  
I was always in a fight cuz I can't do nothin'  
right _

_Everyday I fight a war against the mirror  
I can't take the person starin' back at me  
I'm a hazard to myself _

_Don't let me get me  
I'm my own worst enemy  
Its bad when you annoy yourself  
So irritating  
Don't wanna be my friend no more  
I wanna be somebody else _

All Lita wanted to do now was to be someone else.

_Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe  
somethin  
A day in the life of someone else?  
Cuz I'm a hazard to myself _

_Don't let me get me  
I'm my own worst enemy  
Its bad when you annoy yourself  
So irritating  
Don't wanna be my friend no more  
I wanna be somebody else_

_Don't let me get me  
I'm my own worst enemy  
Its bad when you annoy yourself  
So irritating  
Don't wanna be my friend no more  
I wanna be somebody else _

_Doctor, doctor won't you please prescribe  
somethin  
A day in the life of someone else?  
Don't let me get me _

_Don't let me get me  
I'm my own worst enemy  
Its bad when you annoy yourself  
So irritating  
Don't wanna be my friend no more  
I wanna be somebody else_

After a month or so of her treatment, she was sent back home. She was pale, almost dead on the outside, like she was inside. She looked like she hadn't slept one peaceful night, and really in reality, she didn't. The people there were so disturbed, so insane and crazy in the mind, and she only wished more to go back to where she belonged. She was soon transferred to another school where no one knew her. Lita walked into her new school with a wall up and a heart broken inside of her, but somehow she met 4 other girls whose skin was peeled by a blade too.

To run away from the past she joined track. She felt as if she could run away for everything. Every time she ran she thought about Texas, her grandmother, and Leo. It gave her the motivation to run away more.

**Present**

"Lita" Mina said as she came into the room and held her friend's hand tight. Lita smiled from behind her breathing mask. She loved her friends more than anything. Serena smiled as she closed the door to the room. She looked out into the hall and wondered, where was Amy.

* * *

**Hoped you enjoyed it. As you can see, I'm kinda giving a back round on each of the girls. Well I will update soon, and I will try and finish the story so ya'll can get your ending. Thanks for reading and reviewing, and please keep on. And if you don't review you're a sinner. LOL. Just kidding. I want to recognize the song in this chapter its "Don't let me get me" by Pink. But please review I appreciate it. Peace out. –RoseyRose **


	11. The Girl Who was a Fool

_**Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor Moon

* * *

**_

_**Chapter 11: The Girl Who was a Fool**_

**When something goes wrong, you hide. But when you hide you loose yourself in your lie, and become someone else who you hate inside **

Amy sat in her room, her heart pounding, thinking about what would happen if the police found out about the ordeal. She took a deep breath, yet she still wasn't calm. She took her finger and placed it in the little hole of her wooden floor board. She lifted it up slowly and took out the tiny silver jewelry box that lay secretly there. She opened the lid and saw a pair of sharp scissors, her safety scissors. She took them in her hand gently and placed its sharp blade over her arm. The cold sting beat against that which was warm. Her blood ran off of her arm and onto the floor. Tiny drops of crimson regret soaked into the cherry wood floor, making new stains with the old ones that Amy would never forget…

"Amy I'm setting up a doctor's appointment for you" Her mother Sara said to the 10 year old Amy sitting at the dinner table. Amy just thought to herself how much she hated the doctors, but at least she wasn't getting a shot.

Amy sat on the doctors table in her white gown waiting silently and patiently for the doctor to enter the room. The only sound that was made was the tick of the clock as every second went by slowly. Finally the doctor entered with her clip board of information and her stethoscope around her neck.

"Hello Amy, and how are you doing today?" Dr. Sally said.

"Fine" Amy said knowing she wanted to catch the new episode of Sailor Moon on Cartoon Network.

"Well I'm going to just do a checkup on you and that's all" Dr. Sally told Amy. She went over the basics with the reflects, the hearing, the sight, the usual, but then Amy's world came crashing down.

"Can you bend over for me Amy" Dr. Sally said. Amy bent over and the doctor was quiet, too quiet.

"Well Amy, it looks as if you might have scoliosis" Dr. Sally said.

'What the hell does that mean' Amy thought to herself.

"What is that" Sara asked.

"Oh, it's the curvature of the spine; it's common in young girls in this age. I'm sure it's nothing. But just in case I'm sending you to a specialty hospital where she can be examined more closely"

Amy wondered in her mind what would come of her new condition.

The next week she had an appointment at the specialty hospital in the scoliosis clinic. She had on her gray baggy sweater on with jeans and a pair of converse as she sat down in her chair in the waiting room. Both her mother and father sat beside her reading a magazine. Amy decided to do the same. She picked up last years edition of Sports Illustrated, even though she wasn't a sports fan, it was the only decent thing on the table. She tried to keep her eyes down on the paper but she couldn't help look around the room. She saw people in wheel chairs, burned, and braces on their bodies. She was scared and sad at the same time.

"Amy Mizuno" The nurse called out from the reception area. Amy and her family got up and followed the nurse into the doctor's office.

"And how are you doing today Amy" The nurse with blonde hair said as Amy followed her to the scales.

"Fine I guess" Amy said shyly.

"Well Amy if you could just step up on the scale for me" The nurse said as Amy took of her shoes and stepped up to see her weight. She had gained five pounds since she last weighed herself.

'That's great' Amy thought sarcastically in her mind.

"Well, you and your family can wait for the doctor in room 35. He should be in shortly. Just put on this gown for us, alright" The nurse said with a smile before shutting the door to the white and silent room.

'I hate these things' Amy thought to herself as she put on her gown and sat on the table. Her parents sat in the chairs opposite of her waiting anxiously for the doctor.

A few minutes later a man with gray hair and a few wrinkles on his face made his way into the room. He had a smile on his face as he looked at Amy who also faked her smile as she sat on the table like a dead frog in science class.

"Hello Amy, Mr. and Miss. Mizuno. I'm Dr. Lurnen" He said shaking their hands.

"And you are" He said to Amy's aunt.

"I'm Amy's aunt, Brenda" She said shaking his hand. He then sat down in his silver and black chair looking at his chart as the room was silent. Amy watched his with attentive eyes wondering what he would say.

"Well we should take a look at your X rays that you took last week" He said pulling out a vanilla folder with her x rays inside. He slid them up into the light board and flicked the switch and what Amy saw seemed to tear her apart like a ravaged beast. Her spine resembled the letter "S". It wasn't straight at all. She wanted to cry but she wouldn't let herself look like a failure. She sat up straighter and continued to look at her X rays with a stern face.

"It looks like your curve is a mild case, but we're still going to have to put you in a back brace where it will push your spine back in place" Dr, Lurnen said as Amy tried to breathe normally but felt as if she was short of breath.

"How long would she have to wear it" Her mother asked as she was just as worried as Amy was.

"Well seeing that she hasn't had her period yet, we're going to give her 3 to 4 years. She'll have to wear it 20 hours a day, that way she has 4 hours to have it off if she plays sports and things" Amy wasn't satisfied with his response to her mother's question.

"In that case we'll send you all up to the second floor where Amy can get measured for her brace" He said as he wrote them a pass on a pink slip of paper and handed to her father. He left the room, and Amy presumed to get dressed, with no expression in her face. She knew she wanted to cry, but she wouldn't allow herself, not now, not ever.

After she was fully dressed, they made their way up to the second floor, where yet again they waited in a white and silent room for another doctor. A man walked in with plaster on his hands and on his white doctor's coat.

"Hello there" He said as Amy sat with a fake smile on her face. She was good at hiding how she felt.

"Well you're a very brave girl. Most of the girls I see that come in here are usually in tears, but you are very courageous" Amy smiled wider at his response, but her smile was only a reflection of her pain inside.

"My names George by the way" He said as he took out his clipboard. Amy was measured for her brace and two weeks later she was in his office yet again to pick it up. It was a horrible wretched thing. It looked and felt like a corset to her. It strapped tightly in the back and was made of plastic. The inside of it was a foam kind of material and stuck to Amy's skin like syrup. When she had an itch she couldn't scratch it and when she did take the brace of she had red skin everywhere on her back and stomach. The brace fit so tight around her that she had to start a new breathing technique where she breathed in instead of out. She got sweaty when she had it on and couldn't eat a full meal of anything, not even a McDonald's happy meal, which she stopped eating at 6 years of age. And most of all, Amy hated the fact that she looked 3 times fatter. The brace made her have to go up 2 sizes in her clothing and the back of it made her ass look like she got bad lipo suction and looked flat as a board. Amy hated the brace with a passion. She had never hated anything more.

Her real issue was when she had to go to school. What would the kids say? Would her friends ditch her? Would she ever be herself again? The thoughts ran through Amy's head as she looked for new clothes that would fit her bigger body in Target.

"Honey what about these" Her mother said as she held up a pair of blue jeans. Amy looked at them apprehensively but took them to try on. They looked horrible on her, in fact everything looked like a piece of shit on her. She hated the brace and herself.

Once picking out a few things from the store Amy went straight to her room and cried.

The next day at school, she didn't hug anyone because she knew they would feel the hard plastic on her body, she didn't get to close to anyone because she knew that they might bump into her and shout out some rude comment, and most of all she hid underneath her big black sweater. Not only was she hiding her body, but she hid herself under the cotton. She couldn't be the fun Amy people used to know, all that they could see now, was a girl hiding behind an act, a mask, and image that everyone thought was real.

The same behavior went on as she got older. She hid behind her mask, and was never able to be herself. She had learned to cope with the comments and questions about her size and odd shape or the reason why her body was hard as a wall. It hurt her heart every time they came out of someone's mouth, but she had learned to smile on the outside while she cried on the inside.

By seventh grade her self esteem began to get worse. The girls with make up and skinny bodies made her feel like she was a geek. Even though people loved Amy's personality and company, Amy still felt like an outsider. She even was jealous and envious of her friends. They had short skirts, skimpy shirts, and most of all boyfriends. Any knew she would never have a boyfriend. What guy was going to find her attractive?

By the eight grade her self esteem wasn't even there. She was a negative and down person. After going for another check up, the news still didn't change and she had one more year to go in her brace.

With her self esteem gone and her happiness a speck in her mind and heart, she took the steak knife from her kitchen drawer and let the pain go. As her blood ran off of her arm, she thought about all the doctor's appointments, and the comments, and the times where she couldn't dress like the other girls. The blade felt so numb on her arm as she pressed harder and harder on her skin. She bit her lip as the pain started to kick in. She took a towel from the cupboard and held it tight on her arm. She cried and cried until her pain was gone. Not only was being a cutter her new habit, but being bulimic and anorexic was also part of her addictions.

Because the brace made her fat, every night after dinner she would take her toothbrush and shove it down her throat, waiting for her meal to come up. At school she didn't eat and she didn't drink any thing. She was obsessed with weight. For 6 months her addictions continued. After she received the news that she would only have to where her brace for maybe a few more months she stopped her habits, but some habits never die. As she got out of her brace and into high school, her eating habits and torn skin seemed to get worse, yet no one saw her pain.

Every night after she cut and threw up, she laid in her bed and cried.

"Why God, Why did you do this to me" She would say as she cried with red eyes. She would hold her pillow tight until she fell asleep.

One particular night when she cried out her pain she decided to turn on the radio to make her fall asleep and as she did she heard the most ironic song she had ever heard in her entire life.

_Perfect by nature_

_Icons of self indulgence _

_Just what we all need _

_More lies about a world that never was and never will be _

_have you no shame don't you see me  
you know you've got everybody fooled _

look here she comes now  
bow down and stare in wonder  
oh how we love you  
no flaws when you're pretending  
but now I know she

never was and never will be  
you don't know how you've betrayed me  
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

without the mask where will you hide  
can't find yourself lost in your lie

Amy got out of bed and looked at herself in the mirror. It wasn't her; it was a mask that she was hiding behind, an image, a lie, which haunted her. 

I know the truth now  
I know who you are  
and I don't love you anymore

And with that she punched her mirror.

It never was and never will be  
you don't know how you've betrayed me  
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

The glass fell to the floor and made a shatter. Her hands covered in blood and her eyes blood red with pain. 

It never was and never will be  
you're not real and you can't save me  
somehow now you're everybody's fool...

**Back to the present **

She put her scissors down and rushed to the bathroom. She opened the door to the medicine cabinet and there it was. A bottle of pills…

* * *

**OoOo. You're gonna have to wait guys. Does Amy commit suicide? Hmmm… I guess we'll see. Well hope you like this chapter, it's based off of true events, except for the last part. Well I'll update soon. Please R&R. Thanks. **

**P.s. The Song used in this chapter was "Everybody's Fool" By Evanescence. **


	12. Thank Ya'll

**Hello There, **

**I apologize to all my readers who have been waiting for me to update, don't worry I will soon. School work and other things have occupied my time unfortunately to get out the story as quickly as I would have liked to. All my stories will hopefully be updated in the next few weeks, especially Partners in Crime, I know, I know, you're waiting to see what happens there. But please keep reading you guys, I appreciate it so much when I get feedback on my work. I'll update soon, Scouts Honor. LoL. And remember buckle up, crack kills, safe sex, and "what would Jesus do" lol, and for all my atheist believers out there, please disregard my last comment. Thank you and Goodnight. **


	13. It's my LIfe

**Disclaimer: Don't Own Sailor Moon

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**

**_Chapter 12- It's my life _**

**Once we become involved with pain, there is a natural instinct to end it, but the question that we ask ourselves is how? **

She put her scissors down and rushed to the bathroom. She opened the door to the medicine cabinet and there it was. A bottle of pills. She took the pills in her hands and opened its childproof lid. She put the whole bottle of pills in her hand and took the tiny plastic cup on the counter below the sink. She starthe door opened without any hesitation. She looked in and her eyes saw nothing, only the darkness and of the house and the feel of the cold air conditioning cooling off the house.

"Amy" She called as she steeped in apprehensively…

"Amy" Amy stopped to hear her name being called out somewhere in the house, but it was so quiet that Amy thought it was just her mind messing with her. She looked back at her self in the mirror one last time…

"Amy" Serena said again going down the hard wooden halls of the house until she saw the bathroom light on underneath the door…

Knock- Knock 

"Amy" She called as she steeped in apprehensively…

"Amy" Amy stopped to hear her name being called out somewhere in the house, but it was so quiet that Amy thought it was just her mind messing with her. She looked back at her self in the mirror one last time…

"Amy" Serena said again going down the hard wooden halls of the house until she saw the bathroom light on underneath the door…

Knock- Knock

The knock on the door was so sudden that Amy spilt the water in her soggy plastic cup on the floor and onto her jeans as some of the pills in her hands fell to the hard wood floors, making tiny little droplet sounds as they hit.

"Amy it's me Serena, are you alright in there?" Serena said putting her ear to the door. Amy didn't answer as she opened the door for Serena in a hurry. Serena saw her scared face as she saw the pills scattered on the floor before Amy hugged her, almost squeezed her in her horror of what she was about to do.

"Amy are you ok?" Serena asked holding onto her friend.

"I just want it to stop, make it stop" Amy said crying hysterically.

"God I want it to end Sere" Heavy sobs came out of her voice as she held onto Serena's body slipping down to the cold floor. Her knee bone rubbed hard against the floor as she slipped still holding onto Serena. Serena knelt down on the floor to be at Amy's level as she weeped in Serena's lap.

"I want it to end Sere, it wont end" she said faintly between her sobs.

"Amy it's going to be alright" Serena said stroking her friends hair as gently as she could even though her hands were shaking with terror. Amy was going to kill herself, if Serena wasn't on her way to see her. The what ifs started to go through Serena's head as Amy still laid on the cold floor wanting for it all to end. Suddenly Amy's mood changed as she got up from Serena's lap and started to scramble for pills on the floor and putting them in her mouth.

"It's got to end" She started to say like a crazy lunatic as she searched with wide eyes in the bathroom for more and more pills to swallow.

"No Amy" Serena said pulling back her friend who looked like she was possessed by the devil, though in reality was only fighting against her pain.

"Amy stop" Serena said holding her friend back from retrieving any more pills on the floor as Amy kicked and screamed in Serena's grasp.

"No, no, no" She said again and again to herself as heavy tears of pain and sorrow fell down her face. Slowly Amy started to calm down as she cried soft tears in Serena's lap. She closed her eyes slowly only seeing the light in the bathroom flicker as Serena kept her in her lap. Serena looked at her friend who was sleeping in her lap and started to cry…

The truck on the street honked its horn as Rei blew the smoke out of her mouth from her cigarette. She through it onto the ground and smashed it with her foot as she pulled her purse over her shoulder and started to walk down the street. As she walked down the street she saw a black car following her. She thought it was a guy who wanted something from her as he pulled up next to her. She stopped and watched the window roll down to reveal Darien.

"Get in" He said as she looked at him and opened the door to get in. He drove down the street as both were silent, until Rei finally spoke.

"I killed Thomas" she said with soft, yet scared eyes.

"Rei, you had no right…"

"He tried to kill Lita, Mother fucker wasn't going to get away with it"

"So what are you going to do now Rei?" Darien asked her as he looked back between Rei and the road in front of him.

"I don't know, stay out here for a while, earn some money. I know this guy who lives in Portland and he said I could stay with him for awhile"

"So you're just going to run away"

"Well what fucking else am I supposed to do. I don't have any thing that's keeping me here"

"I think your being a coward Rei. You're like my little sis ever since you moved hear back in junior high, and I've seen you bad, but Rei this is ridiculous. Your dirty, your hair looks like it hasn't been washed in days, and Rei your eyes"

"What's wrong with my eyes?" She asked defensively while looking at her eyes in the visor mirror in the car. She looked and didn't see anything.

"Rei," He said slowly, "their dead" Rie looked into the mirror and saw that her eyes were dead. They seemed to not be alive, like someone had already taken her life.

"I'm sure you could stay with Sere for awhile and get an actual job" Darien suggested as Rei continued to stare in the mirror and remember the poem she wrote a couple of years ago.

_Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fool among us all,_

_Mirror, mirror will I fall tomorrow, or continue to live in life's sorrow_

_Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the saddest of us all, _

_Mirror, Mirror will I become scared and curl in a ball_

_Mirror, mirror on the wall you're the problem of us all_

_We look at you and you trick us that we are someone else and now that I have looked at you every day I can't find myself in this world of misery and pain_

_So mirror, mirror on the wall, one day it will come to an end, and you wont lie to me any more _

"Rei did you hear me" Darien asked her as she snapped back into reality.

"Yeah, I'll look into it then" Rei said as she looked at her self in the mirror still.

"Thank you" Darien said with a smile, hoping that Rei would be alright.

"No problem" She said thinking of her poem still, especially the last stanza,l as she closed the mirror in the visor.

* * *

**Well I'm sorry if it was so short. I wanted to update for you guys, and yes i will be putting some romance between Serena and Darien, DON'T WORRY. But please keep reading, it's only the beginning. (gasp) lol. **


	14. Out Of Control

_**Disclaimer: Don't' own Sailor Moon

* * *

**_

**Chapter 14 – Out of Control **

Serena's head felt as if it would burst of frustration and anger for the world as she tried hard to pull on her hair. She let out a frustrated scream that was muffled by plastered walls. There was too much emotion built inside of her. What Amy tried to do, what Rei had done, why Lita was suffering. 

'It's not fucking fair' she thought to herself as she through her pillows at her mirror and around the room like a mad woman with her anger. When everything and anything that could be thrown was, she laid on the floor and cried a child's cry. The cry that if you heard it you would no it was a serious matter. Serena cried, trying to call out her mother's name in her pain.

'You don't love me mommy, you don't want me, you don't want me, you don't want me' she repeated in her mind and out through her mouth in painful sobs. Suddenly her father came in to see his daughter crying on the floor with tears and a red face. But he didn't care, he wasn't sober and his mind and heart couldn't be responsible for his actions towards her.

"What the hell kind of raucous are you making" He said pulling her up by her shirt.

"Get the fuck away" She said as she pulled her father's sweaty hands away from her.

"No. NO, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" Serena cried as she slapped her father's hand away from her.

"You fucking talkin' back" He said holding her by her neck against the wall, taking the air he had given Serena out of her lungs. Serena gagged, asking God for her father to let her go so that she could breathe the air she didn't want to breathe. Her father let her go as she cried and screamed at him again.

"YOU DON'T WANT ME DADDY, YOU DON'T WANT ME" She said as she slid down the wall covering her red face with her hot and sweaty hands of pain. With her father's rage getting worse slapped her and hit her more than once then turning his back to his child as he began to walk out the room with bloody hands. Her father started to clench his heart and breathe heavily as he held onto the wall in Serena's room. She heard her father gasping for air as she had done earlier. She looked up from her crying slowly to see her father collapsing to the ground. Her eyes got huge as he laid on the carpet, like he was having a seizure. Serena looked at the man who she wanted to die, who she wanted to be condemned to hell for the rest of eternity, but as a human being she screamed for her mother. Her mother, not sober either couldn't comprehend her daughter's cry, so instead Serena was the parent and called 911.

She was in the ambulance as her father was rushed to the hospital.

"Does he have any prescription pills for his cardiovascular system" Asked one of the paramedics. Serena felt her jacket pocket where she had put the pills, she knew her father needed them. She looked at her father lying motionless on the table. Her heart burned with rage and the images of him beating her and her mother burned like an angry pit of fire. The world seemed to stop or go in slow motion as the images burned her and engraved the memories in the back of her head that would make of her dream of them when she fell asleep every night.

"NO" She said coldly. The paramedic turned back around to assist the others as Serena slowly took the bottle of pills out of her pocket. She looked up at her father as even more hate filled her eyes. She looked like she hadn't slept in days, with round circles under her eyes, and tangled hair. She clutched the bottle of pills tight and looked at the small window next to her. She took the bottle and through it out the window.

By the time she reached the hospital her father was in critical condition. Once there was nothing they could do, they told Serena that she could say her good byes to her father as he was still living. Her father lied still with his eyes closed. Serena walked in like a zombie, a ghost of a woman that only had the pain in her heart and had never known anything good in her life as she walked up to her father. The heart monitor beat as it slowly declined by the minute, bringing death upon her. She wanted to hurt her father right then and there but turned around and tugged at her long blonde hair in frustration. She turned back at him and started to yell.

"YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO, DON'T YOU SEE DADDY, DADDY I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU" With her last words to her father, the heart monitor only beat a single beat and her father was dead.

"Ma'am are you alright" The nurse asked concerned as she came over to Serena. "I'm so sorry" She said with sadness and pity for the woman in her voice.

"I'm not. I'm glad the mother fucker's dead" Serena said as she turned her back to her father towards the door. She walked slowly out of the room, her feet picking up the pace as she walked through the hospital doors. She hurried to get to her house. As she ran, she felt nothing. She was numb with exhilaration. She reached her house still anger and hurt in her eyes. She went to the bathroom with her razor blade and cut herself several times on her arms. She blood first came in tiny droplets and then escalated to a battle wound as she held up her arms, drenching herself in her own blood.

'Why do I punish myself god, why do I do it, make it stop' she thought as she sobbed. She heard her mother still drunk and she started to run out of the house. She had to find Rei, she needed Rei, Rei was the one who listened, who cried when she did, who helped her no matter what circumstance. She ran with blood falling from her arms. She reached Rie's house where Rei was in her room packing her things to head over to Serena's, following Darien's advice when a loud bang came upon her window. She opened it to find Serena hysterical and covered in her own blood.

"Oh my god Serena what's wrong" Rei cried as Serena came into the room through the window.

"REI, THEY DON'T WANT ME, THEY DON'T' WANT ME, HE'S GONE HE CAN'T HURT ME ANY MORE REI, I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME, NO ONE WANTS ME" Serena yelled out as Rei held on to her best friend.

"Who's gone Serena"

"My daddy" Serena cried in her friend's arms as one by one the memories came back, and fell with her tears. Her father was gone and he couldn't hurt her or her mother anymore, but he was still there, still hurting Serena in her memories, in her dreams, in her nightmares. Rei held Serena tight in her arms rocking her back and forth like a child. This is where Serena's safe house was, her safe hospital. Rei was there for Serena always, and Serena was there for Rei.

"Come on," Rei said holding Serena's head up, "let's get you cleaned off and then we'll find someplace to stay for the night" She said as she helped Serena to the bathroom. Rei placed a wet washcloth over her cuts. She wiped them off gently as Serena sniffed her nose.

"It's going to be okay Serena, you're not going through all this alone," Rei said as she held her friend's hand, "I'm here with you" She said with a slight smile.

Once Serena was cleaned up, they caught the bus where Serena leaned on Rei closing her eyes and breathed slowly, staring at the seat in front of her, counting the stripes on the seat. Rei stroked Serena's hair and looked out the window to the images that flew by. Her reflection stared back at her through the window and she looked back down at her friend, knowing that her problems were at a lower totem pole now. She held Serena tighter and waited for them to get to there stop.

Darien sat down watching TV, flipping through the channels to find something good on, yet nothing appealed to him.

'We pay all this money for cable, and there's nothing on' he thought to himself as he kept hitting the channel button. Suddenly the door bell rang and he got up to see who it was.

"We need a place to stay for the night" Rei said as she held Serena at her side when Darien opened the door. Darien looked at Rei and then looked at Serena who seemed like a ghost in her arms.

"Come on in, get out of the rain you guys" He said as both of them came in covered in the rain from what Serena always thought of the rain as God's tears. Darien watched Serena shiver with her arms wrapped around herself tight as Rei left her side to put down their bag of things.

"Darien, when are your parents supposed to be back?" Rei asked taking the towel he had given her and drying her hair.

"Not till a few weeks, they're in Brazil"

"Cool, well I don't know about Serena, but I need a place to stay awhile, you mind" Rei said as she looked at Darien.

"I don't mind" He said shaking his head.

"Well, Sere" Rei said as Serena turned her head in her direction, "I'm going to turn in and go to sleep, are you going to be alright" She asked as Serena nodded her head.

"Alright good night" Rei said walking up the stairs.

"Here," Darien said softly to Serena draping a blanket around her cold body. Serena wasn't in the mood to talk but muttered a "Thank you" .

"Come on" Darien said putting his arms around her laying next to her on the couch.

"Darien I don't want to…"

"We're not Serena, you don't look like your in the mood for that, do you want to talk about it?" He asked as he pushed her wet blonde hair out of her face.

"Not really"

"That's alright then, you should get some sleep" He said getting up to show her to the guest room.

"Will you be alright in here" Darien asked as she looked around the tasteful room. It was a soft blue, and had pictures of the ocean, she could even smell the scent of the ocean breeze as she walked into the room, though the descriptions of the room did not make her crack a smile. She nodded in response as he gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Call if you need anything" he said with a smile as he closed the door to leave her with a peaceful and quiet room.

Although the room was peaceful and fit for a queen, her heart and mind was not at rest. It seemed as if the whole world was spinning a million miles a minute and she couldn't make it stop. She couldn't go to sleep as she twisted and turned in the sheets of her bed, trying to make the memories from her child hood stop spilling out of her brain like a carton of milk. It was too much too handle all at once. She sat up in bed and flicked the lamp on that sat on the nightstand next to the bed. She looked in the drawer to find a piece of paper and a pen. She sat in bed with a small not pad and a half full pen as she wrote out what was in her heart.

_Out of control _

_Losing her mind _

_Tears falling behind her eyes _

_She's falling to fast _

_She's screaming and yelling about her past _

_No one seems to understand _

_When all she's asking is for a helping hand _

_They've taken from her when now she has nothing _

_She can't control anything in her life _

_Powerless, with no strength, only weakness is what she can find _

_As she lies there broken on the floor _

_Will no one see her _

_She is not exaggerating _

_She is not being dramatic _

_Don't you see her eyes _

_The pain behind them _

_Her face shows no smile _

_Can't you see she's acting _

_She tired now _

_Leave her alone _

_Why wont you just let her cry _

_She's hurting inside can't you see _

_Stop criticizing her she knows what she's done is wrong _

_She's trying to fix it damn it _

_She knows its fucked up _

_Stop beating her with your words _

_You're not helping _

_Only making it worse _

_She's trying to keep her head held high _

_But she can't when she has to cry _

_She's trying to stay strong _

_Trying not to cry _

_Beating herself up now as her worst enemy inside _

_Stop it Stop it Stop it _

_Stop hurting her more _

_What did she do _

_She never meant to hurt you _

_She was trying to hurt herself _

_Let her have her life back _

_She's lost all her faith _

_Her hope is gone _

_So let her live _

_She doesn't want to die _

_How could you think that you're so ignorant_

_Let her live, please, let her have control _

_She's out of control now, losing her mind, _

_Tell me why I am the who has now fallen behind _

She looked and read the poem over, satisfied with her work as she turned the lamp of to lay silent in the bed again. The silence in the room was eerie like someone was watching her, her own father maybe, haunting her for what she had done. She tried to close her eyes tight so that she wouldn't open them again and fall asleep but the thunder and lightening out of her window made her jump, she had always hated thunder and lightening, nothing seemed to scare her more. She couldn't take her loneliness anymore, because when she was alone she thought, and when she thought, she cut. She climbed out of bed and went down the hall to Darien's room where she found him asleep in his bed. She walked in quiet as a mouse and crept into his bed. He awoke to find her pulling the covers back and laying next to him.

"Serena is everything ok?" He asked as she got into his bed.

"I can't sleep" She said embarrassed of her comment. Darien smiled, and wrapped his arm around her warmly in bed. He kissed her pale cheek and stroked her hair as she closed her eyes.

"Darien, I love you" Serena whispered as she slowly, slowly fell asleep.

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**Well tell me what ya think, thanks for reading, i'll update soon. -RoseyRose **


	15. Hope

_**Disclaimer: Don't own Sailor moon

* * *

**__**Hope**_

"**I am the flower waiting to bloom, I am the caterpillar waiting in its cocoon, and I am a work in progress"**

Serena looked around the room, her head dazed and dizzy. She looked next to her to see an empty spot in the bed. She held her forehead again so that the room would stop spinning before she stepped out of bed and slipped on Darien's white slippers. She walked off balance to the bathroom only a few feet away from her. She turned on the faucet before coughing a loud raspy cough. She looked down at the crystal clear water than glimmered in the sink from the dawns light as she splashed it in her face. She then pulled down a beige towel from the rack to dry off her face. When her face was no longer wet, she looked into the mirror to see her mascara running along with her eye liner and chapped lips. She licked her lips to take away the dryness and then pulled down the bottom of her eye to look inside of it.

'I look like complete shit' she thought as she threw the towel at the mirror before walking away.

As she walked down the long hall way in Darien's house, she could smell the warm aroma of fresh cooked eggs and bacon in the air. She followed the scent, yet she had no pleasant look on her face from the smell, just hunger in her belly, and numbness in her heart and mind. She entered the kitchen of granite countertops and stainless steal appliances to see Darien over the stove cooking the last bit of bacon in a greasy pan. Rei sat at the table reading the newspaper for a proper job while drinking coffee, before she looked up to notice Serena standing there with her eye liner running and her hair still frizzy and damped from the night' rain.

"Good morning Serena" Rei said as she got up with her car keys. Darien looked over at Serena and smiled, but Serena did not return the loving gesture, she only stood there like the ghost of a girl instead of a living human being with emotions. Rei also smiled but her smile faded when Serena's blank expression hit hers.

"Well, Darien I'll be back later this afternoon" She said while walking out the kitchen to where Serena was standing. She crinkled Serena's long blonde hair in her hand before kissing her on the cheek.

"Call me if you need anything" Rei said with a slight smile before leaving.

"Breakfast is ready if your hungry" Darien said as Serena walked over slowly over to the table as the warm plates of food sat with steam coming from them.

"Thanks Darien" She said as she took a plate from the table and started to fill it. Darien sat with a cup of coffee with his hands laced with each other on the table, watching Serena, or what was left of her.

"Serena," he said apprehensively as Serena looked up at him with sharp blue eyes. "Did you mean what you said last night… you know about…"

"Yes" She replied, now looking more like a school girl, than a young woman with pain and sorrow in her heart. He smiled and reached out for her hand on the table. He rubbed her soft skin gently as she began to get red.

"I love you too" He said kissing her hand. She smiled her first smile of the day and continued to put food on her plate.

"Daren?" Serena asked as she put her fork down some odd minutes later.

"Yes" He said looking up from the newspaper.

"Would you… can you take me somewhere" She stuttered.

"Sure, where do you want to go"

"4210 Cedar tree way"

A few hours later Darien and Serena pulled up to a brick duplex with an evergreen Christmas like tree in the front. The flowers in the yard seemed exotic, yet simple at the same time as they blew a little in the wind.

"Do you want me to go in with you" Darien asked as he put his hand on hers.

"No, that's ok, I wont be long" She said as she leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. He took her chin and gave her another kiss, with more passion. She smiled and kissed him one more time before opening the car door. She walked up the stone walkway to the house apprehensively before she rang the doorbell to the house. She took a deep breath as the door swung open to reveal a woman in her 40's with a dark complexion and violet like eyes and short auburn hair, dressed in a violet sweat suit, her Aunt Billie.

"Oh child, Oooo" She said as she swung her arms around Serena. Serena hugged her aunt back as she smelled her scent of rose perfume.

"Come in baby" she said as Serena walked into the tiled entry room.

"Look at you. You've grown so much since the last time I saw you. You look so beautiful, come on in honey, you hungry?" She asked as she turned the corner to the very organized kitchen. Serena walked in like this place was foreign to her, even though many days she came over to her aunts house to visit for hours at a time when she lived across the street.

"I'll make you some hot chocolate like I used to with some whip cream and marshmallows aye" She said holding Serena's chin in her hand as she smiled. Serena sat down on the barstool as her aunt took down the pack of hot chocolate packets and filled the coffee mug with hot water.

"Well what's been going on for you sweetie" She said walking around the kitchen getting all of her ingredients for a good cup of hot chocolate.

"Oh that's what I wanted to talk to you about" Serena said as she put her hot chocolate in front of her on the counter.  
"What's wrong honey" Her aunt said as she folded her arms on the counter to listen to her niece carefully. Serena took a deep breath as a tear ran down her cheek before she spoke.

"My dad… he….he… died" She said as more tears came from her eyes. Her aunt froze for a second but soon regained composer as she walked over to her niece whose head was down. She took her chin and lifted Serena's hand up.

"You don't have to be scared any more" She said as Serena took a hold of her aunt and hugged her as tears came down her face. Her aunt held her and rocked her in her arms as if Serena was her own child, the child she never got to have. As she comforted Serena she noticed multiple cuts on her arms. She took Serena's arm up to study it as Serena looked away in shame.

"You've been doing this again" Billie said calmly. Serena nodded her head in response as her aunt only held her more.

"You know what" Billie said as Serena's cries began to get fainter.

"You don't have to be ashamed. Honey you are a work in progress. I am a work in a progress and I'm almost 90 years old"

"You don't look like it" Serena said with a slight smile as her aunt smiled back.

"God didn't make you to know everything. I know times have to be hard right now, but Baby…" She said in a long pause.

"God is with you, you have to keep your head up, and you got to be hopeful. Life isn't a bowl of cherries but that's what praying is for, that's what hope is for. Don't ever loose hope, you understand me" She said sternly as Serena nodded her head and hugged her aunt. Her aunt smiled and looked out the window to see a handsome man sitting in a car. Her aunt smiled and looked down at Serena.

"And who is that I see in the car" She asked as Serena smiled and blushed.

"That's Daren"

"Daren, no it couldn't be" Her aunt said surprised.

"You don't mean that little raven haired boy you used to play with as a child"

"Yes that's Daren" Serena said smiling.

"Well I wonder if he still remembers me. Probably not" Billie said to herself as she tapped her long ruby red finger nail on her scarlet lips.

"Come on honey," Billie said taking Serena's hand, "Lets welcome him in"

Daren still sat in his car, looking at his silver watch here and there. He looked around the street that was full of evergreen trees and old charming houses. Some people walked their dogs peacefully on the cracked sidewalks and a few ducks flew in the sky to get to their destination.

'This place, this house,' Daren thought, 'it looks so familiar' He turned to the other side of the car to see Serena smiling, holding the hand of an older woman. He smiled to himself and finally recognized the woman who Serena was next to. Daren got out of the car to see Billie, the woman he also spent time with as a child with Serena.

"Billie!" He exclaimed like a child as Billie wrapped her arms around him.

"Daren you're all grown up" She said as she made Daren stand back so that she could see how this small boy had grown.

"Such a handsome young man you've grown up to be" Billie said with a smile from ear to ear.

"Come, come inside now both of you" Billie gestured as she lead the way inside the house. Daren smiled at Serena as she did the same before taking her hand into his.

"This is your home isn't it" He whispered as they walked up the stone steps. Serena smiled and looked at the one person that never left her side, even if she wasn't there in person.

"Yes, yes, this is my home" She said as a tear slid from her eyes.

Serena smiled as she thought about her aunt's words.

'I am a work in progress'

"Don't you just love this song" Her aunt said as she turned on the television to see the video hope on. Serena watched it as her and her aunt smiled at each other…

**_I wish the way I was living could stop, serving rocks,  
Knowing the cops is hot when I'm on the block, And I  
Wish my brother woulda made bail,  
So I won't have to travel 6 hours to see him in jail, And I  
Wish that my grandmother wasn't sick,  
Or that we would just come up on some stacks and hit a lick, And I (I wish)  
Wish my homies wouldn't have to suffer,  
When the streets get the upper had on us and we lose a brother, And I  
Wish I could go deep in a zone,  
And lift the spirits of the world with the words with in this song, And I (I wish)  
Wish I could teach a could teach a soul to fly,  
Take away the pain out cha hands and help you hold them hi, And I  
Wish God never gave the men power  
To be able to hurt the people inside the Twin Towers, And I (I wish)  
Wish God woulda turned they hearts righteous,  
When they started to take innocent lives and become snipers, But uh  
We will never break, don't underestimate, we shall motivate,  
And we gotta pray, all we got is faith.  
Instead of thinking about who gonna die to day,  
The Lord is gonna help you feel better, so you ain't gotta cry today.  
Sit at the light so long,  
And then we gotta move straight forward, cuz we fight so strong,  
So when right go wrong,  
Just say a little prayer, get ya money man, life go on!  
Let's HOPE! _**

CHORUS (Cee-Lo)  
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,  
Take this music and use it  
Let it take you away,  
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way  
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.  
Let's be hopeful!

VERSE 2 (Twista)  
I wish that you could show some love,  
Instead of hatin so much when you see some other people commin up (I wish)  
I wish I could teach the world to sing,  
Watch the music and have 'em trippin of the joy I bring, (shiit)  
I wish that we could hold hands,  
Listen instead of dissin lessons from a grown man, And I (I wish)  
Wish the families that lack, but got love, get some stacks  
Brand new shack and a lack that's on dubs, And I  
Wish we could keep achieving wonders,  
See the vision of the world through the eyes of Stevie Wonder, (you feel me) (I wish)  
And I hope all the kids eat,  
And don't nobody in my family see six feet, (ya dig)  
I hope them mothers stain' strong,  
You can make it whether you wit him or your mans gone, And I (I wish)  
Wish I could give every celly some commissary,  
And the po po bring the heat on them priest like they did R. Kelly, And I  
Wish that DOC could scream again  
And bullets could reverse so Pac and Biggie breath again, (shit) (I wish)  
Then one day they could speak again,  
I wish that we only saw good news every time we look at CNN,  
I wish that enemies could talk,  
And that super homie Christopher Reeves could still walk, (I wish)  
I wish that we could walk a path, stay doin the right thing  
Hustle hard so the kids maintain up in the game,  
Let's HOPE

CHORUS (Cee-Lo)  
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,  
Take this music and use it  
Let it take you away,  
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way  
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.  
Let's be hopeful!

VERSE 3 (Twista)  
Wish the earth wasn't so apocalyptic,  
I try to spread my message to the world the best way I can give it,  
We can make it always so optimistic,  
If you don't listen gotta live my life the best way I can live it,  
I pray for justice when we go to court,  
Wish it was all good so the country wouldn't have to go to war,  
Why can't we kick it and just get em on,  
And in the famous words of Mr. King "Why can't we all just get along",  
Or we can find a better way to shop and please, And I  
Hope we find a better way to cop a keys, And I  
Wish everybody would just stop and freeze,  
And ask way are we fulfillin these downfalls and prophecies,  
You can be wrong if it's you doubting,  
With the faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains,  
And only the heavenly father and ease the hurt,  
Just let it go and keep prayin on your knees in church!  
And let's HOPE

CHORUS (Cee-Lo) X2  
Cuz I'm hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today,  
Take this music and use it  
Let it take you away,  
And be hopeful (hopeful) and he'll make a way  
I know it ain't easy but that's okay.  
Let's be hopeful!...

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**Sorry guys it took me so long to update. I hope you guys liked this chapter, and don't worry there is more to come in this story, you don't think I would end it here. Thanks for being so patient with this. If you could please spread this story around, I really want more ppl to read it, mostly because of its message. But if I touch one person out there with this story I'll be happy. Thanks guys for the reviews I appreciate it, please continue to R&R. –** RoseyRose

P.S. The song in this chapter was "HOPE" By Twista and Faith Evans.


	16. RIP

**Disclaimer: Do not own Sailor Moon

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**

**R.I.P. Death is easy but life is hard **

**To keep on living an empty life  
takes patience from an empty person.  
–ditto **

While Serena was enjoying herself with Darien and her aunt, Rei was making her way across a grassy field. Stone after grave stone she passed on her way to her Father's.

_Drew Turner _

_1960-1998_

_A loving husband and father_

Rei starred at the concrete stone as if it were her father's skeleton. A small tear ran down her face as she kneeled on top of the raised earth in front of the stone. The memories of her father and the horrible accident that took his life rushed through Rei's head but were as visible in her mind as a person looking out from a spinning carousel. All she could see were blurry images, all she could hear was loud sounds, all she could think about were flash backs. Her heart started to pound inside her rapidly and it seemed to jerk her as she sat next to her father's grave…

"_**Stop Gary, stop it, don't touch me. Stop!"** The 13 year old Rei screamed. _

"_**Daddy, Daddy, I want my Daddy**" She sobbed as Gary ripped her panties off of her and slapped her as she cried and yelled more. _

'_make it stop, please make the hurting stop, **I want my daddy, I want my daddy, I want my daddy, I want my daddy'** She repeated over and over in her head…_

Suddenly a hand touched and grabbed her shoulder pulling Rei back as she screamed in the cemetery.

"Stop it, stop it Gary" She screamed as she took out her gun from her brown suade purse and shot it off at the man behind her. Once the gun took fire and the body lay motionless on the ground, Rei snapped back into reality to see her older brother Mark lying on the grass, blood coming from his chest. Rei started to panic and her breathing became harder as she held her brother in her arms.

"Mark, Mark wake up, I'm sorry" She said as she tried desperately to bring her brother back to life, yet he lay still in her arms, blood coming from his chest and out through his mouth, his blondish hair upon the green grass.

"Mark come back" She said as she sobbed into her brother's bloody chest.

After a few minutes holding her brother, Rei realized what she had done, that her brother was gone. She wiped her nose and her face and got up and walked to her car. She put the keys in the ignition and put both hands on to the stirring wheel. She looked out in the open to see her brother's body next to her father's grave. She then began to weep as she held on tight to the stirring wheel. She new what she had to do it was only fair…

Laughter bounced off the walls as Serena, Darien, and Billie talked about old times. Serena wiped a tear of joy off of her face as she picked up her cup of hot cocoa and made a sigh. Darien watched Serena in delight as she smiled.

"Oh Sere, we have to get going. I told Rei this morning I'd pick her up from her house since her mom has to use the car"

"Oh alright" She said as she put down her coffee mug.

"It was good seeing you Aunt Billie"

"It was good to see you too Darling, and Darien, you both need to visit more you understand" She said with a smile as they nodded with a smile before she hugged them.

About a half hour later Darien parked his car in front of Rei's house.

"Why don't you go ahead and get her Sere, I have to make a call real quick" Darien said as Serena smiled and kissed him before getting out of the car.

"Hey Sere," He called as she leaned into the car, "You think we can um… well practice that later" He said with a grin as Serena chuckled before walking up to the house. She still smiled to herself as she knocked on the door and rang the door bell.

'That's odd' she thought as she knocked on the door bell again. She sighed nonchalantly and picked up the plant pot next to the door. She had been to Rei's house many times and knew where she kept the spare key.

She opened the door and looked around the dim house. It was silent as Serena's heels made the only noise on the hard wood floors.

"Rei" She called out apprehensively before she looked over to were the patio door was. Her eyes got wide and large with fear as she ran out the patio door.

"Rei!" She yelled.

At that moment Serena's heart dropped and her heart skipped a beat. She looked up and tried her hardest to breathe, but all she could do was cry. There, lying on the floor was Rei who had obviously slit her wrists. Blood flooded out of her onto the kitchen floor and Serena knelt down to her trying to wake her up. Rei was dizzy and had a hard time breathing as she looked into Serena's blue eyes.

"I killed him" She said in a raspy voice.

"Who Rei? Who?"

"Mark" Rei started to tear up and Darien walked in to see Serena and Rei covered in Rei's blood.

"Oh my God" Darien said frantically.

"Call the ambulance" Serena said as Rei's eyelids moved up and down slowly, trying to see Serena.

The ambulance came and carried Rei off as she was on the edge of death. A few hours later Rei laid in a hospital bed, minutes even seconds near death. Serena waited outside the room waiting for the doctor to come out to give her the verdict.

"She wants you, please hurry there's not much time" The doctor said to Serena as she slowly lifted off of the chair and walked into the room where Rei smiled a faint smile.

"This is it" Rei said in a raspy voice as Serena sat on the bed, holding her hand.

"Yeah, I'm going to miss you"

"I'm so sorry Sere, life got too hard" She said starting to cry.

"It's okay Rei, you can go. You stayed alive for me, you can go. I'll be alright" She said in a whisper to her best friend.

"Death is easy but life is hard. Promise me something Sere" She said as Serena held her hand tighter.

"What, anything you want I'll do"

"I want you to get out of this town. I want you to go on to college and have a good life. And remember that cemetery, where the lake is"

"Yes I know"

"Burry me, next to my daddy, please"

"I will" Serena said tears sliding down her face. Rei smiled at her and took one last breath.

"Now I get to see my daddy" She said and with that she closed her eyes never to be opened again.

Serena took her hand and kissed it as tears still fell down her face.

"Rest in Peace Rei"

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**It's not the end, two more chapter's left. Please keep reading and reviewing. Thanks every one for the reviews on the story, it makes me feel like I'm doin' something right. Thanks again **


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